Educating children starts with letting go

Parents have to worry about their children's education from the moment they are born, and some even start prenatal education. However, many mothers do not know how to educate their children, and just do their best to help them, which will make them learn nothing. What I want to tell you today is that to educate your children, please start by letting go.

I remember when Oscar was a little over one year old, we went to a restaurant for dinner. A grandmother sitting opposite me said to me, "Your son is so great! He can eat by himself at such a young age! My grandson is already three years old, and he still needs someone to chase him and feed him!"

Every time I hear such "praise", I am happy, but I also often think proudly: This is all thanks to my "let go philosophy"! OSCAR started to reinforce when he was 6 months old. When he reached out to grab the spoon, I let him grab it. When he wanted to eat with the spoon, I let him use it (if it were an elder, I would never let him reach out to grab the spoon). When he reached out to grab my chopsticks, I also let him take them. Although he would get food all over the table, face and body at the beginning, and it took a lot of effort to clean it up afterwards, but after continuous practice, he was already able to eat by himself without help at the age of one and a half.

My one-and-a-half-year-old son’s “eating skills” have won praise from many mothers-in-law. I have always thought that it was due to my “let go philosophy” and the fact that my son’s limbs developed relatively quickly. However, as the child grew up day by day, I began to feel that something was wrong.

Are 3-year-olds not physically developed enough to feed themselves? Are they unable to eat or are they too lazy to do so?

As the child grows up, his learning ability should also improve accordingly, but in fact it is not the case!!!

Children aged 3 or 4 cannot turn on or off the faucet or put on socks. Children aged 5 cannot change their clothes by themselves and children aged 6 cannot tie their shoelaces. This is indeed worthy of our deep thought. Why does this phenomenon occur?

Of course, there is more to the situation.

In addition to not eating by themselves, many children also cannot put on their own clothes, socks, shoes, or carry their school bags.

Every time I pick up and drop off my child from school, I can see many adults carrying their schoolbags on the road. My elders are also used to helping their children carry their schoolbags. It takes less than 5 minutes for the child to walk to school (just downstairs at home). If I pick him up, he must carry his schoolbag by himself, and he also likes to carry it by himself, but the elders are not like that. The elders say they have to carry it because the schoolbag is too heavy. ……… (1,000 words deleted below). This scene is so interesting that I began to consciously observe the surroundings, and then I found that almost everywhere there were a group of grandparents (worker sisters) carrying small schoolbags.

How can a child not be able to take care of himself, such as eating, dressing, putting on shoes, and carrying a school bag? Every time people see my son doing these things by himself, most people always come to praise him (although some people think I am a "lazy mother" who always asks my son to do everything by himself without helping). However, what I want to say is that it is not that my son is good, nor that I teach well. I can be a traditional and elegant mother with a lot of tenderness, but I can also be a sharp mother with both determination and self-reliance, because "independence" is innate, and we just need to follow nature and stick to it.

Learning to take care of oneself is the most basic thing in education. If you want to eat, eat by yourself. If you want tableware, take it by yourself. Put on your own clothes and shoes, and take your own backpack and toys. Put away the toys after playing with them, and put the clothes in the laundry basket after taking them off... He can ask adults for help, but adults must not ask him without saying anything. If you take care of everything for the child and take care of everything immediately, it is not surprising that a 3- or 4-year-old child cannot turn on and off the faucet, does not know how to put on socks, a 5-year-old child cannot change his clothes by himself, and a 6-year-old child cannot tie his shoelaces.

I always take the parenting style of encouraging and guiding children to solve problems and achieve goals by themselves as a guideline. I believe that every mother loves her children and wants them to live well more than anyone else. However, sometimes, because she thinks that her children are not doing well, she unconsciously helps her children complete what they should do. Every little detail in life is a great opportunity to learn self-care skills and develop good living habits. Through the small actions of children in life, such as putting their shoes back in the shoe cabinet and putting away their schoolbags after returning home, it is a good habit, which is a kind of life skill cultivation for children. Education should be in every detail of life.

Children will gradually grow up with every stumble, and will also sum up their experience in the learning process, and move towards success step by step. Parents will find that even if they are not taught, they will explore and move forward on their own, learn to walk and move forward. Therefore, letting children learn to walk by themselves is very important for their growth. This will help them build self-confidence and face the difficulties and hardships of life correctly in the future, so that they can overcome difficulties and win a bright future. Guide children to complete things by themselves, and I will support and assist them to achieve their goals, encourage them, praise them, and wait for them. For me, doing this is the real education.