Do you regret having only one child?

In the past, people only had one child under the family planning policy. Although the second child policy has been implemented now, people are not willing to have more children and generally only have one. So, for families that only have one child, do the parents regret it?

I only have one child, who is currently in the second year of junior high school. I have never regretted having only her.

I gave birth to a child when I was 30 years old. Before that, I didn’t particularly want a child, but I didn’t want to be a DINK either. I just wanted to escape for a few years, because the birth of a child means endless responsibilities. Once you have a child, you have to be responsible for her, so you need to be fully prepared mentally.

I have a childhood friend whose parents work in the same unit and live in the same community. Her sister did not go to college, but got a job in a public institution in our hometown with the help of her parents' connections. She got married very early and had a child. The child was taken care of by her parents as if it was their own. She did not worry about eating, drinking, defecating or urinating. There are many people like her in our hometown. In the community where her parents live, there are two little girls who played well with my children when they were young. They were both raised by their grandparents. One of the little girls refused to drink milk powder since she was a child. Her mother did not breastfeed in order to maintain her figure. Her grandparents took great care to raise her. Her parents played separately, each with a car. The boy was handsome and the girl was pretty. The clothes the child wore were all bought by her grandmother. She was dressed up like a village girl. Fortunately, her father was an only child and her grandparents had retirement wages, so she was still okay.

Another little girl, her parents also work, but she eats and drinks at her grandparents' house. They eat and drink for free, not to mention giving money to the old couple, they haven't even bought a single vegetable. The girl's mother once met my mother and said that her mother-in-law was stingy and made her daughter's milk powder very diluted. My mother said, if you buy the milk powder, her grandmother will definitely not make it so diluted. The old couple's pension is so little, and they have to support their youngest son to go to school. The eldest son and his wife don't spend a penny. The child's milk powder money is a big expense every month, so the grandmother can only use it frugally.

Although I am not as full-fledged as the above-mentioned people, my parents also helped me raise my child until he was three years old. Moreover, because my parents insisted on raising the child in their hometown, my child was left behind for more than two years. I went back to see her every weekend, but this could not make up for the lack of companionship during her early childhood. Before the two-child policy was fully liberalized, my teammate tricked me into having a second child, saying that one child was too lonely, and I would have another child to keep the child company. I just had to give birth and he would take care of it. I didn't believe him! I told him that I was determined not to, and if he wanted to, he would find a way. Tell me, how many fathers have you seen who would ask for leave when their children are sick? How many fathers have you seen who had to ask for leave to leave first because it was time to pick up their children in the middle of a meeting and were looked down upon by their leaders? How many fathers have never been on a business trip since they had their children? Only mothers will put their children first in everything. To be honest, my unit is not bad. If I change units, people like me will not be able to stay.

Children are veritable money-eating beasts and money-shredding machines. I would not have children without a certain economic foundation. At present, our income is more than enough to support one child, but raising two will be stretched. My child went to a public elementary school. At that time, the unit coordinated and paid a sponsorship fee of several thousand yuan to attend the top three elementary schools in our area. There is no tuition for public elementary schools. The main expenses during elementary school are various interest classes and tutoring classes, which cost tens of thousands of yuan a year. Since the year before last, because of the need to eliminate large classes, the enrollment quota is very tight, and the unit no longer cares about the enrollment of children. In recent years, my colleagues' children have basically gone to private schools, with tuition fees of tens of thousands a year. If you add interest classes and so on, it is now almost 100,000 yuan a year to raise a child. If you have two children, you can calculate it yourself. Last year, the unit was not in a good state. Two-thirds of the year-end rewards were cancelled, and all personal performance awards were cancelled. I met a colleague yesterday, and he sighed when he saw me. He used to get more than 100,000 yuan in performance awards every year, which was a heavy loss. He has two sons.

In the current educational environment, the most troublesome thing for parents is tutoring their children's homework, right? I am lucky. I don't have to worry about my children's studies. I am mainly responsible for logistics. My colleagues always say that our children are here to repay their gratitude. It's so worry-free. What's the saying? You have to try your best to look effortless. My children seem to be very worry-free to outsiders, but I know how much effort I have put in. Let me give you an example. I have insisted on reading to my child every day since she was very young, and I basically read every day until she was in the second grade of elementary school. Sometimes I am very tired at work during the day and very sleepy at night. I can't even ask for leave for my child because she is used to it. She has to listen to me reading at that time every day. I often fall asleep while reading, and I don't know what I am reading. The child will shake me awake and say, "Mom, you read it wrong!" I don't know how many times I have read some books. My child can recite them by heart. If I cut corners, she will find out.

I have said so much, mainly to say that with my ability, I am lucky if I can take care of one child. I really cannot handle another one, so I don’t regret having only one child at all.

I was born in the 80s. In the past ten years, I regretted having only one precious daughter. I always wanted to have another one. Now I am glad that I only have one. I listened to my husband and didn’t have another one. I am an ordinary person, not very capable, and I just make ends meet. If I had a second child, the quality of life and education level of the two babies would definitely be affected to some extent, and their energy would not be able to keep up. Especially now, children are under great pressure to go to school. It’s really a headache to think about it, and adults worry about them every day. Now when I see a little kid posting a video of learning content on WeChat Moments every day, I feel inexplicably anxious for them. I am so worried. Fortunately, my daughter is relatively outstanding, and I don’t have to worry about her study and life. She will take the college entrance examination in another year and a half. I hope she can realize her dream of taking the college entrance examination!

Definitely regret it! If I ask my peers, nine out of ten of them regret not having another child! At that time, the national policy was that a couple could only have one child, and as citizens, they had to abide by it!

The two kids are so perfect. They can help each other and take care of each other with anything. Even if their parents are gone in the future, they won’t be lonely with their brothers and sisters.

At that time, the family planning policy was in force, and a couple could only have one child. From the family planning slogans all over the streets, we can see the severity of the family planning policy at that time. We also saw many people fleeing to other places to avoid family planning. The skit "Over-Birth Guerrilla" is a true reproduction of the secret births at that time. At that time, the policy was that if you had a second child, you would definitely be fired from your public office.

In 2000, I got pregnant unexpectedly. I really wanted to give birth to the baby secretly, but my husband and I were both employed. If I gave birth to the baby, I would definitely be fired from my job. My husband persuaded me that if I was fired from my job, we had no special skills, and we couldn’t do business. We didn’t have any land in the countryside, so what would we do? How would we support two children? Besides, given my family’s situation, there was really no one to take care of the baby. My mother-in-law wouldn’t help. Although my mother-in-law supported me, she lived far away and it was inconvenient. In the end, I had to endure the pain of induced labor!

Now that the two-child policy has been relaxed, it is really gratifying. Unfortunately, I am past the childbearing age. If it had been relaxed five years earlier, I would definitely have a second child. I cannot have one now. I often encourage my friends who are still hesitating to have as many children as possible because you have caught up with the good policy. Don’t wait until you are my age and cannot have children. It will be too late to regret! In recent years, women of childbearing age around me have given birth to second children one by one. Seeing their happy looks, I am also infected! My cousin also gave birth to her second child last year, making up the Chinese character "good"! The family of four is happy and harmonious, and the elderly on both sides are smiling!

There is no way to regret it. I hope to have more sons in the future to make up for my regrets!

I only have one daughter. To be honest, I always wanted to have a second child when I was young, but for various reasons, this wish has never come true. Now it seems that God is helping me. Life is too short, and it would be a shame if you don’t live for yourself. When it comes to children, it’s enough to have a thought. Don’t be greedy and tire yourself out!

My child is going to college in the fall. Before that, I had a deep anxiety. My child is going to go to college, and I have no one to rely on. What should I do next? At this age, I can't find a good job. I have been staying at home for a long time and I am no longer adapted to the workplace.

What's more, my daughter is very wild and has been threatening me that she will stay away from home after graduating from university. She is not planning to get married or have children. She just wants to make money and be a happy single person.

These words stabbed my heart like a knife. I quickly calculated the accounts and realized that I was doing a losing business. If you don't marry or have children, how can I get my betrothal money back? Besides, what's the point of raising you?

Others retorted: If you are lonely, why don’t you just pick up a puppy and raise it as a plaything?

Oh my god, it's too much trouble to raise a dog, it's better to have a child for fun. My husband and I tried very hard to get pregnant, but nothing happened. As we got older, we finally let it go. During those years, I felt really sorry. If we had two children, if one didn't go home, at least there would be one by my side, so I wouldn't be lonely when I get old.

Many people say that this is the result of selfishness. That's not wrong. It's not easy to be a person. Don't people who can live well think more about themselves? Besides, my request is not excessive.

My thoughts and ideas have changed in the past few years——

To be honest, the social atmosphere is not good now. There are very few families where the old and the young gather together happily. Everyone is busy making a living, and the meaning of children's existence is mostly to show up and to meet occasions.

Of course, it can be used at critical moments, such as when sending someone to the hospital. It feels like a loss to spend the last moments of your life in exchange for a lifetime of hard work.

Nowadays, many couples have a cold relationship. Of course, men are willing to have more children, because they don't lose much. At most, they can just give some money. If the earning ability is poor, the woman has to raise the children together. It's too hard for women. If you have too many children, you have to deal with them all your life, drown in the housework, and become a yellow-faced woman. Do you think men will be grateful to you?

Yesterday was Women's Day, and a netizen cried bitterly on the Internet. She said that on such a holiday, her husband never expressed anything, and she felt extremely unbalanced when she saw women on the headlines showing off their blessings, gifts, and red envelopes, because her husband rarely came home after get off work, and even on that day, he was out playing until eleven or twelve o'clock before returning. She was completely in a state of collapse.

When a person's spirit collapses, he will have wild thoughts. This female netizen said that she has two children. In addition to taking care of everything at home, she also has to tutor her children and make money by doing self-media. Her husband is too comfortable. He only gives her a few small amounts of money every day, and he acts like a big boss. When he comes home, he does nothing but criticize and blame. Why? ?

Let's not talk about the reason. This woman is less than 40 years old, but she looks quite old. Her skin is loose and full of tear marks. She looks very decadent. Her husband said, why are you so frugal? You are not without money. You are not willing to buy some cosmetics or clothes. You are willing to be like this. Who can you blame?

Who should I blame? Blame the woman for being too philanthropic! Because she is a mother and never has herself in her heart. Blame the woman for not being selfish, otherwise she would definitely keep the man from leaving the house. Only weak women can spoil arrogant men.

If you have nothing, you should have fewer children. Use the existing resources to enrich yourself, radiate the spirit you have cultivated, and maintain yourself beautifully, so that you will live up to your life.

Children, when they grow up, will fly high, have their own ideals, and have their own families. We and them are destined to drift apart. Because of this, it is enough to enjoy the pain of separation once in a lifetime.