How to stop a child from crying? Is it normal for a child not to cry?

Every child has a purpose when he cries. When faced with a crying child, do you scold him harshly or give in? No matter which method you use, can the problem be solved in the end?

You don’t allow your child to cry because you are “poor and busy”!

S, a very good high school classmate, is a mother of two children. Her eldest daughter is already in high school, and her youngest son is about to enter junior high school. Both siblings have excellent academic performance, serve as class cadres for many years, and often host various activities at the class and even school level. They are truly well-rounded in moral, intellectual and physical development.

This summer, S brought his children to Shanghai to play and stayed at our home for a few days, so we had the opportunity to talk in detail.

I was feeling extremely anxious because of the rebellious period of adolescence, so I quickly asked her for advice. Unexpectedly, she said that her daughter did not show any obvious rebelliousness and had gotten through the rebellious period that everyone was so afraid of.

Looking back on her years of raising children, S said: "I have always had a good relationship with my two children and rarely yell at them. The only thing I have learned is that I must free myself from trivial matters such as washing clothes and cooking."

Seeing how busy I am every day, S strongly suggested that I hire a nanny like her, or at least a part-time worker to cook and clean.

I deeply feel that what she said makes sense. Only by freeing yourself from the quagmire of housework can you have more time to accompany your children, be patient and meticulous without being impatient or irritable.

If a mother is "poor and busy", she will never be in a good mood or good temper to treat her children. The "poor" mentioned here does not refer to "poverty" in the true sense, but a "poor" mentality.

For example, if Xiao Nuo breaks a box of brand new crayons into pieces, if I think about how much the box of crayons is worth and how much money is wasted by breaking them into pieces, this is a "poor" mentality - always thinking about saving money, thinking about price and cost, I will not be able to help but stop the child's behavior, or even yell at him for it.

If you change your mindset: Crayons are certainly tools for drawing, but for children they are more of a toy. They can be used for drawing, and naturally they can also be used to break and play. And breaking crayons is a great way to train the flexibility of children's small muscles.

Thinking this way helped me calm down and ask Xiao Nuo why she broke the crayon and what rules she followed.

Maybe the child will tell me: crayons are too long so they need to be broken, each one needs to be broken into three sections, after breaking, they become more crayons, and the broken crayons of different colors can be matched more beautifully...

I can't help but admire the children's creative ideas, and I can even create more rules and play with them to break crayons.

The question is not whether I lack the money to buy crayons, but whether I have changed my mindset.

I decided to get out of my busy and poor situation.

First, reduce your own housework

Hire an hourly worker to come to your house for a thorough cleaning once a week, and usually use a sweeper and a mop to help with cleaning.

Share some of the housework with other family members. Sometimes ask Xiaoxi to wash the dishes and socks. If Nuoxi's father comes home early, let him cook. If there is something spilled on the floor, ask Xiaonuo to clean it up (regardless of whether she cleans it well or not).

With less to do, my anxiety is reduced and I can spend more time with my children.

Second, change your view on money

Asking others to do many small things doesn't cost much money and has no impact on the family's wealth, but it can greatly improve the quality of life, or in other words, it can improve my experience of life.

Therefore, don't be reluctant to spend money on things that can be solved with little money.

Finally, adjust your mindset

Sometimes don't take things too seriously. Even if a small problem occurs, you can bear the consequences.

Allow occasional disruptions to the rhythm of life; lower your expectations, give up some tasks and goals; be more tolerant and understanding towards yourself and your children.

Refuse to be poor and busy, at least in your mentality be a rich and leisurely person!

When a child cries, it may be because of this

● Physiological crying: Children cry because their diapers are wet or too tight, they are hungry, thirsty, the room temperature is not appropriate, the bedding is too thick, etc. In such cases, parents only need to eliminate the adverse stimulation in time, and the child will soon fall asleep quietly. In addition, some children will cry every night when they go to bed. At this time, if parents can patiently coax them to sleep, the children will soon fall asleep peacefully.

● Unsuitable for the environment Some children are unsuitable for the natural environment, and their day and night are reversed. When their parents are at work during the day, they sleep, and when their parents are resting at night, they "work". If you pick up the child and play with him, he will stop crying. For such children, you can use some sedatives to adjust the rest and sleep time, and if necessary, ask a child health doctor for some guidance.

● Insufficient exercise during the day Some children do not exercise enough during the day and refuse to fall asleep at night and cry constantly. These children should increase their activity during the day so that they are tired and can fall asleep peacefully at night.

● Improper arrangement of nap time Some children cannot get up in the morning and take a nap at 2-3 pm, or take a nap too early, so they fall asleep early at night, wake up in the middle of the night, and cry if no one is playing with them. These children can be woken up earlier in the morning and the nap time can be adjusted appropriately, so that they feel sleepy at night and can sleep peacefully until dawn.

● Impact of diseases Certain diseases can also affect children’s sleep at night. To this end, we must start with the primary disease and actively prevent and treat it.

Babies with rickets are often restless at night, and parents can’t comfort them. Some babies suddenly wake up in the middle of the night, crying and restless, with unusually tense expressions. This is mostly because they are too excited or stimulated during the day, and they dream about what they thought about during the day.

In addition, for children with pinworm disease, pinworms will crawl to the anus at night to lay eggs, causing extreme itching of the skin. The children will also become irritable and cry constantly.

Read books, do puzzles, play games with her, especially situational games. Children of this age like shopping situational games. Of course, the most effective way is to find out what the child likes to eat and cater to his or her preferences.

Do this when your child is crying

1. Find out the specific reason why the child is crying. Show full understanding of the child's request and treat it correctly. When the child cries because he is sad, angry or wronged, parents should show the child that you fully understand his mood, so that the child feels that someone understands him, and the mood will naturally be much better, and he will not continue to cry. When the child cries because his request is not met, parents should carefully explore the reasons why the child must insist, and do not deny the child's request based on their own tolerance or value judgment. For unreasonable and excessive requests, they should be firmly denied, not spoiled, and explain to them the reasons why they cannot be satisfied. When the child is crying, you must not coax him immediately, let alone simply tell him "Don't cry anymore, otherwise I will..." Such threats can easily make the child rebellious and cause him to cry even harder.

2. Let the child form a concept of "I have grown up and should not cry anymore". Parents should let the child understand that only babies who can't speak well love to cry. They are already grown-up children and should not cry anymore. If they cry all the time, others will laugh at them. And because of crying, other children will feel disgusted and laugh at them, and they will not be able to find friends. With this awareness, the child can hold back tears when he wants to cry and gradually become stronger.

3. When children act unreasonably and try to achieve their rude demands by crying, parents can appropriately ignore them to make them feel that crying will not attract the attention of adults, thereby reducing the frequency of such crying.

However, when using this method, parents should first reason with their children, and when the children ignore the reasoning, parents can then use the cold treatment method to deal with it. Parents should not be moved by their children's "tears" and give them what they want out of weakness, otherwise it will cause the children to repeat the same thing over and over again in the future.

4. To change a child's crybaby personality, parents must work hard on their daily education. They should not spoil, indulge, or pamper their children blindly, nor do everything for them. They should give their children more opportunities for autonomy.

5. In order to help crying children bravely face setbacks, parents should start by cultivating their abilities and enhancing their self-confidence. When they encounter difficulties and setbacks, they should work hard to overcome them. Parents should give timely and clear affirmation to their achievements in fighting against difficulties, so that children can feel the joy of success and have the confidence to overcome difficulties further. Then parents should give their children some difficult tasks for them to complete.

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