Parents should not force their children to say hello during the New Year

The New Year is coming soon, and visits from relatives and friends are inevitable, especially for parents who have children this year. When guests come to the house, parents must not force their children to say hello, but should adapt to the child’s development stage.

Children who are just one year old are forced to greet adults, and children who are slow to mature are called rude by adults. I think adults don’t like to be humiliated in public either! But why should children have to endure this kind of verbal violence?

Every child is unique! Some are lively, some are slow to mature, etc. We should not blame children for not saying hello, but we need to understand their personality and characteristics and guide them on how to face others.

For example, when little Bella was little, she would start crying if anyone other than her father and the primary caregiver (mom) wanted to hug her. And those who wanted to hug her but couldn't would say: It's because you don't let her get in touch with other people!

In fact, children will cry when they are anxious about strangers at the age of six months. This is the stage for children to learn and observe, which is actually a good thing!

Little Bella is now one year and five months old. She already observes strangers to see if the person has any hostile intentions towards her.

Gradually, they will greet strangers. This is related to the curiosity and active exploration of young children, so we should not ignore the observation of children!

Every time I hear adults talk about children like this, I always feel so sorry. I was once a child, and now I spend every day with young children. I deeply understand the feeling of being called "impolite" by adults. It is a kind of shame and frustration. The shame is that I am not good enough and my words are not sweet; the frustration is that I can't do well and disappoint adults. And all these feelings have to be pulled out at the same time in public and in full view of everyone.

I often wonder, no adult can stand being humiliated in public, so why should our children (young children) stand up to it? Why do we, without hesitation, and in a high position, rebuke a child who is only as tall as our legs or waist in front of everyone?

Perhaps the key is that we do not think that young children have self-esteem. We think that they do not have much feeling or self-esteem in their short bodies. Therefore, our words will not hurt children, or even if they do, it will only be a little. In addition, the words of adults are a kind of teaching, and children need to be taught!

Or perhaps, when we were little, our self-esteem was also ignored, so now that we have grown up, we cannot see the self-esteem of children? We cannot see the fear of strangers that the little child is feeling when standing among the giants. We cannot see the guilt that the little child feels because even his beloved parents (and even grandparents) think he is not good enough and scold him in front of all the adults.

Yes, scolding a child in front of everyone means that the responsibility of "educating the child" is fulfilled, and it will definitely not be criticized. Labeling the child directly under everyone's "eyes" (rude, too noisy, disobedient...) achieves the purpose of "alerting the child", and it seems that the goal of "being a good child" is getting closer and closer. But is humiliation useful?