The pros and cons of having a second child. Parents-to-be should be mentally prepared.

Although the national two-child policy is fully open, we must also make a rational choice to have a second child based on our own conditions. Having a second child is like many things in this world, there are pros and cons. The following is a detailed analysis of the pros and cons of having a second child. Prospective parents should make a decision after they are mentally prepared.

The benefits of having a second child

It is not easy to develop common problems of only children

Children will compare with each other to see who is more well-behaved. If adults appropriately praise the good ones and encourage the lagging ones, the children will unconsciously develop in a good direction.

Rich parenting experience can be used again

New couples are exploring parenting methods through practice. As the children grow up, the parents' parenting experience accumulates more and more. They become experts in caring for children when they are sick, early childhood education, and cultivating good habits. Their valuable practical experience can be fully utilized.

Many items for the first child are reused, reducing the cost of raising the child

Nowadays, people pay attention to scientific parenting, and we must be careful when buying supplies for children. If we have another child, the child's clothes, early education supplies, etc. can be reused, and the price of the items can be calculated at 50% off. Wouldn't that reduce a lot of waste?

There will be more helpers in caring for the elderly in the future

People are born, grow old, get sick and die. When you are old and sick, you need someone to take care of you. If you have more children, you can share these tasks to the greatest extent.

Reduce the trauma to parents caused by natural and man-made disasters

Living in this big world, people are likely to encounter all kinds of things. Earthquakes, illness, car accidents, suicide, etc. can take away people's lives. Families with only one child will have to endure unbearable pain when facing these accidents. If there are many children, this phenomenon will not occur.

Children help each other cope with various social challenges

In life, the people who can help each other the most are brothers and sisters. If you are an only child, you will not be able to enjoy the treatment of brothers and sisters fighting for your life. Today's society emphasizes going hand in hand. Fighting alone is very detrimental to personal survival and development.

Satisfy the "good" wishes of every family

Having both sons and daughters is our criterion for judging a happy family. Our expectation for children here is that the family should have both boys and girls. When we need to support and massage the back, a daughter will come. When we need a son to support the family, a son will appear. It is really a wish come true, and the flowers are full and the moon is full!

Disadvantages of having a second child

Increasing economic pressure

We can barely support ourselves. Although the post-80s generation is an only child, all the savings at home have been used to buy a house. Winter is coming, and we have no money to pay for the mortgage, property management fees, and insurance for our children. It is even more difficult to have a second child financially.

Taking care of two children is not enough

If you have two children, their schedules will definitely not be the same. One child falls asleep while the other is still energetic. It seems that it will take a long time for the other to fall asleep. After waiting for this baby to fall asleep, before you can recover, the other baby has already woken up. Can you handle this kind of wheel tactics?

One love should be shared between two children

Children are the most sensitive, and they can feel that your love for them is obviously not as much as before. They will feel disappointed and think that you are partial to them and that you no longer love them after having a second child, which will cause irreparable harm to the child's young heart.

Couples have less "sweet" time

If there are two babies, the father will face greater financial pressure and will spend more time on work; the mother will have to take turns taking care of two children and has limited energy, so there will be even less sweet time for love and affection.

Money for having and raising children

Parents start spending money from the moment they become pregnant. Before the birth, there are various prenatal check-up fees, natural birth or caesarean section fees, and hospitalization fees. After the birth, there are expenses for milk powder, clothes, toys, and illnesses. Especially when a child gets sick, it can torture the whole family physically and mentally.

Money for children's education

Children have to go to kindergarten from the age of 3. In some big cities, kindergarten is more expensive than primary and secondary schools. For example, in Beijing, it is very difficult to get a place in some good public kindergartens. Many people queue up in the middle of the night and use connections to find people. Private kindergartens cost thousands or even tens of thousands of yuan a month, which is not affordable for everyone. Don't think that you can spend less money on primary and secondary schools. In order to prevent your child from losing at the starting line, you have to sign up for various training courses.

House upgrade fee

A two-bedroom apartment was originally enough for living, but it is obviously not enough after having a second child. If it is two girls, it is not bad, but if it is a boy and a girl or two boys, two bedrooms must be prepared. It is a big expense to change a small house to a big one. When the children grow up, parents start to save money desperately to buy a house or pay the down payment for the children, especially for sons. Now it has become a custom in many places to buy a house for marriage. After 20 years, this custom may not change. If it is two sons, the parents will have enough to bear.

Opportunity Cost

The visible money spent is the explicit cost, but the invisible hidden costs are even greater. If a woman has a second child, it means that she will suffer another round of suffering, from pregnancy to childbirth to raising the child, until he or she goes to elementary school. The woman's career will inevitably be affected, and promotion and salary increase will slow down. If there is a mother or mother-in-law to take care of the child, it's fine. If there is no one to take care of the child, the woman must quit her job and stay at home as a full-time mother. In this way, ten years of career will be wasted. Don't think that you can go out to work when the child grows up. After so many years of taking care of the child at home, the knowledge and skills are outdated, and the brain can't work anymore. You can only do some worthless work for the rest of your life. In addition, if there is only one child, the family burden is lighter, and you may go on vacation during holidays. If there are two children, you won't even have the mind to play. This kind of life is so scary to think about.

What to consider when having a second child

Economic issues: The cost of having two children is almost double that of having one child. Or many people say that the living standards are so much better now, why don’t you dare to have children? Our parents were so poor that they couldn’t even afford to eat, but they also had two or three children. But I want to say that the current consumption level is not the same as before. Social competition is also different. In the past, we only cared about having children. Early education, talents, special classes, training classes and the like were all just clouds. It was best to have food and clothes and go to college. Many classmates dropped out of school to work after junior high school or high school. Children nowadays don’t eat if they don’t eat well, and they are embarrassed to go out if they don’t wear well. Everyone goes to early education and everyone has talents. If your child doesn’t have them, he will be laughed at and easily feel inferior.

Therefore, before a couple has a second child, they must consider their financial situation and whether they can afford the child's future living and education expenses... If the child's education is not done well, the child is likely to be eliminated in social competition and become a subordinate. Therefore, from the child's perspective, it is better not to raise a child if you don't teach him/her...

Child raising issues: Compared with economic considerations, who will take care of the children is obviously also worthy of attention. When you have one baby, you may consider letting your parents take care of the baby, and you can enjoy parent-child time when you get off work, which is acceptable! But after having two babies, the first thing to consider is whether your parents can withstand the toss of two children as they get older? Secondly, even if your parents can still help you take care of the two children, when you get home from get off work at night, both children want to be close to their mother and enjoy parent-child happy time. After a day at work, the mother has to play with the two children when she gets home. In the long run, will she have enough energy? If you quit your job to become a full-time mother, you will lose part of your income. With this part of income, you will have the responsibility of a baby. Whether the father can bear the expenses of the family is also a problem. This involves economic issues again. It seems that the economic base determines the superstructure, which is also applicable in the family!

Age issue: Single couples should have children as early as possible, not too late. One reason is that when the couple is in their 20s, their parents are generally in their 50s or 60s, in relatively good health, and basically do not need the care of the couple. If the couple has another child in their 30s, their parents may be in their 60s or 70s, and they will inevitably be overwhelmed by having to take care of both the children and the elderly. The more important reason is that the pregnancy rate of older couples is lower. After successful conception, the risk of older pregnant women is high, and after the baby is born, the mother's body recovers slowly! In short, couples who want to have a second child should have children as early as possible.

Boy or girl issue: Most couples who want a second child still hope to have one boy and one girl, but this is often not what people want. So if the gender of the second child is not the gender you want, can the parents and even the two families really accept this result from the bottom of their hearts? Especially in areas where sons are valued more than girls, if the first child is a girl and the second child is also a girl, can the in-laws accept it? Does the mother have the courage and ability to face the pressure from all sides? Will the father be affected by this? Or should he do a B ultrasound to find out the gender of the child in advance and abort it if it is a girl? And it is not easy to have a boy as the first child. Many people are worried that the second child will be a boy, which will bring too much economic pressure and they are worried that they will not be able to find a good wife for their children in the future...

More time and energy are needed

Most of the elderly people in families who have a second child are very old and cannot help take care of the child, so the mother will be alone at home, taking care of the family and the child, and she will be overwhelmed every day and have little time to rest. Therefore, after giving birth to a second child, women will have to spend more time and energy, so you must be fully prepared mentally.