Why do children always go against their parents? What should we do if children deliberately go against their parents?

Children today are the apple of their parents' eyes and the treasures of their grandparents. It is inevitable that they are spoiled. Sometimes, even when their parents scold them, they will go against their parents. So, why do children always go against their parents? What should we do if children deliberately go against their parents?

Why do children always contradict their parents?

When they are infants, their parents or grandparents will think that they are too young to do anything they want. Because they are young, adults have no control over them. Sometimes, some older people say that this is the nature of children. After all, they are young, so it doesn't matter how unreasonable they are.

But over time, when they grow to 1-3 years old, they have their own subjective judgments and ideas about the things they like, and many adults think that their children are very young and need to be educated by adults, knowing what to do and what not to do. This can easily cause children to evolve from being undisciplined to being disobedient.

First, parents directly refute their children's subjective opinions, and even stubbornly believe that their children are always wrong and that what the parents say is good for their children. This is undoubtedly a common problem among many parents and must be treated.

2. Some people in the family scold the child, but others defend the child. In this way, the child will have a subjective judgment and think, "You criticize me, I don't like you, but at least my grandparents love me." Children educated in this way can really make their parents' education fail in minutes.

This also explains why children become more rebellious and like to go against the grain as they grow older.

What to do if your child deliberately goes against you?

Many times, a child's habitual opposition may be due to the fact that her parents overreacted to her mistakes. This made her afraid of being scolded for making mistakes for the first time, but she couldn't avoid making mistakes. So when she made a mistake for the second time, she already knew that you would scold her, and even yell at her, etc. These understandings come from the sequelae left by her parents' overreaction to her mistakes the first time, so she knows how you will scold her, and she knows that you have no other tricks except yelling at her, no matter how she goes against you, you can't do anything to her. Of course, if you let her do whatever she wants, she will be even happier, and it is possible that the house is full of toys and the house is in chaos.

When a child deliberately goes against her will, the best way is to follow her ideas, but tell her the consequences of doing so. If she can accept it, then accompany her to examine what results this mistake will lead to. This will cultivate the child's trust in their parents. After all, children are good children if they listen to their parents from a very young age. However, when they grow up to 1-3 years old and have their own ideas, they will be naturally curious about what will happen if they do not do what their parents say.

In addition, when dealing with your child, don't scold her in a tough and superior manner. If she is squatting, don't stand. You can squat with her and talk to her. Because when you stand, she looks up at you, there is an invisible sense of tension and pressure. So sometimes when educating children, parents also have to reflect and think from their perspective, wondering why the child does that.

How should parents and children get along with each other

Nowadays, many parents play with their mobile phones as soon as they get off work, while their children watch cartoons on their tablets. They have no time to communicate with each other, and even when eating, they remember their mobile phones and tablets.

Undoubtedly, this is a normal state of interaction between parents and children in the current society. Some parents even think that educating their children at home is time-consuming and laborious, so they might as well spend money to send their children to training classes to learn dance, moral, intellectual, physical, and aesthetic knowledge. However, they do not know that children actually want their parents to accompany them in their education and tell them stories from time to time. Even if they cannot tell stories, at least their wishes are fulfilled. Even if you tell the stories badly, you may be very interesting in the eyes of the children, and even some exaggerated acting skills may make them laugh.

In addition, if they go to school, you can ask them what they learned every day when they come home. You can also put aside your parental attitude and let them teach you dance moves. Even if their hands and feet are stiff, they will be very happy and contented if you play with them like that. At least it will not make them feel distant from their parents.