What should I do if my child sees me having sex?

Parents with children are likely to be caught by their children when they are having sex. So when such an embarrassing thing happens, how should parents react? What is the appropriate way to explain it to their children?

When children are young and they sleep together at night, adults should be careful when they are intimate. They must wait until the children are asleep before they have sex, and they should not be caught by the children. If they are caught by the children by accident, it is a good opportunity to give them sex education.

What should parents do if their children catch them having sex?

1. Parents may feel frightened, shy, or even angry, which is a very normal psychological reaction under the circumstances; but parents must remain calm and digest this emotion in the shortest possible time. Do not angrily scold the child, which will increase the child's sense of shame and guilt. In addition to covering and adjusting the body posture as quickly as possible, parents should shift their attention to the child as soon as possible. The more natural the process, the better.

2. If the child asks "What are you doing?", it means that he knows nothing about it. This is a good opportunity for sex education. Children have the right to know, and parents also have the right to inform. What should we tell the children? Tell them that this is a manifestation of the parents' love, and tell them that sexual behavior is a natural behavior of human beings since ancient times, and it also has its own unique rules. According to the age of the child, use the language he understands and explain it concisely, because this is also an unexpected event for the child, and he is not mentally prepared, so it is not appropriate to talk about it at length. The principle is to start with a rhetorical question, such as "What do you think we are doing?" to understand where the child's curiosity lies, rather than fixating on the parent's own embarrassment about sex and being difficult to talk about. If the child keeps asking questions, parents should also stop, because too much information cannot be digested in time by the child, especially when the parents are not fully prepared to give the child sex education. Therefore, using the child's curiosity, you can continue to give him sex education in the near future.

3. If the child does not speak and turns away (turns around and pretends to sleep), it means that the child feels uncomfortable in this situation. It is still unknown whether he really understands what sex is. At this time, parents should not take the initiative to communicate with their children. Parents should take the initiative to understand their children's understanding of sex and provide appropriate sex knowledge education in the near future.

4. If the child expresses any negative emotions, parents should communicate with the child in a timely manner. It is best to understand the reasons for the child's negative reaction. If the child refuses to communicate, parents should also take the initiative to express, such as "We are not fighting; he is not bullying me; we are not doing anything shameful; we are willing to do such things; we love each other, this is one of the ways for adults to express love; this matter is our privacy, we are not with you, it does not mean that we do not love you" and so on. The purpose is to seize the opportunity to prevent or promptly correct children's negative ideas about sex, or even wrong cognition.

5. Couples should avoid blaming each other, as this will increase the child’s discomfort and even make them feel guilty.

6. The couple should comfort each other, learn lessons, discuss a good solution, and try to avoid such things from happening again; do not let such accidents affect your future sex life.

Sex education “timetable”

Many parents think that sex education for children is a real problem. Many parents don't know where to start and are too shy to talk to their children about sex education. Xiaoyu thinks that some parents think they can't control the degree and find it difficult to talk about it. Therefore, parents may wish to refer to this sex education "timetable" so that they will know what to do.

1. 3 to 7 years old

Parents should let their children have a clear understanding of their gender at the age of 3. It is an important stage for the cultivation of sexual role awareness, and children should be allowed to further deepen their understanding of gender and sexual roles in their daily family life. Parents are the enlightenment teachers of sex education for children before the age of 7. Parents should tell their children which private parts are not allowed to be touched by others from the time they are sensible, and if there is a sign of violation, they should immediately tell their parents or call the police.

2. Elementary school first and second grade

1. Basic parts of the human body and their names.

2. The way organisms reproduce (plants, animals).

Children's self-protection:

1. Private parts of the body that need to be protected.

2. Methods of interacting with others and the grasp of the degree of interaction.

3. Elementary school third and fourth grade

1. The basic process of human life birth.

2. The meaning of friendship and how to make friends.

3. Social norms of gender roles.

Children's self-protection:

1. The methods and standards for getting along with strangers who help you with good intentions.

2. How to interact with strangers alone.

4. Elementary school fifth and sixth grade

1. The functions of the reproductive organs of both sexes.

2. Common knowledge about women’s menstruation and menstrual hygiene care; physiological phenomenon of nocturnal emission in boys.

3. Psychological differences between boys and girls, and understanding, communication, cooperation and mutual assistance between boys and girls.

4. The physical beauty of boys and girls and the beauty of clothing that suits their age and gender characteristics.

5. Methods and etiquette for interacting with the opposite sex.

Children's self-protection:

1. Sexual harassment, how to prevent sexual harassment and protect yourself.

2. Sexual assault, ways and methods of seeking help and receiving assistance during sexual assault.

3. Identify negative information in comics, books, the Internet and other media, and avoid being influenced by pornographic information.

4. Basic knowledge about AIDS, transmission routes and prevention methods of AIDS.

5. Junior high school grade 1

1. The concept of puberty.

2. Functional development and health care of primary and secondary sexual characteristics.

3. Girls and menarche, boys and nocturnal emission.

4. Correctly deal with masturbation, sexual fantasies, and personal privacy.

5. Learn to interact with the opposite sex.

6. Sexual harm, sexual harassment, and sexual protection.

6. Secondary school grade 2

1. Unrequited love.

2. Juvenile sexual impulses and how to resolve them.

3. Psychological and physiological factors that influence an individual’s attraction to and attraction to the opposite sex.

4. How to resist sexual harm and sexual harassment from acquaintances and relatives.

7. Junior high school grade 3

1. Characteristics of first love.

2. Us and love.

3. The relationship between sex, love and marriage.

4. Issues regarding teenage pregnancy and abortion, and understanding the responsibilities and consequences of premarital sex.

5. Contraception and prevention and treatment of sexually transmitted diseases.

6. Successful experiences and experiences in interacting with the opposite sex.

How children of different ages react when they see their parents having sex

According to a research report, children of different ages have different mentalities and reactions when they accidentally witness adults having sexual intercourse.

1. Many children aged 3 to 4 still sleep in the same bed with their parents, and some even sleep on the same side. Parents have sex only after their children fall asleep. Because the couple forgets themselves during sex, their movements are too big and too violent; or because they are too proud of themselves, the joyful sounds during sex wake up the children. When the children wake up, they are not clear. In their sleepy eyes, even if they see or hear the movements of their parents' sex, they are still confused and puzzled. Children feel puzzled that their parents are not sleeping in the middle of the night. When they fall asleep, they ignore everything, turn over, and fall asleep again. When parents find that their children have woken up, they should stop their movements immediately and be careful; if the children ask questions in a daze, they should explain calmly and cleverly, and evade them. This can cover up the past and easily dilute the impression that the children have witnessed sexual intercourse. However, if it happens again and again, over time, the children will be full of doubts, and even change from unintentional witnessing to intentional witnessing. This is where things get complicated.

2. Children aged 5 to 6 or slightly older may accidentally witness adult sexual intercourse. Although they do not understand the reason or the secret, they are curious and playful. Curious, they want to find out; playful, they want to imitate. They wait and look for opportunities to witness again. They ask and pass on messages among their peers. They ask a series of questions in front of other adults they trust. When they get the chance, they play the "sex-making" game. Boys in particular often ignore the other party's wishes and force the other party to play the "sex-making" game, crudely imitating the sexual intercourse movements.

3. Children aged 10 to 12 years old are no longer confused or curious when they accidentally witness adult sexual intercourse. They often compare certain sex actions with the rape actions of some sex criminals in movies and TV shows, as well as social customs and opinions, and make their own one-sided opinions. They confuse sex in legal married life with illegal sexual violence by hooligans. They think that their father "bullies" their mother and their brother-in-law "ravages" their sister...