Is it selfish for children not to share? How can we help children develop a sense of sharing?

In the eyes of mothers, it is a great advantage for children to share, and parents hope that their children can learn to share as soon as possible. Many mothers think that babies who don't share are selfish. Is this true? Let's explain to you what's wrong with babies who don't share.

Is it selfish for children not to share?

The child is unwilling to share, and the parents are very disappointed. Is it because only children are more selfish?

Psychologists believe that children between the ages of 2 and 5 are in the "egocentric stage" of moral development. Children at this stage generally follow the rules according to their own imagination, rather than really considering the rules. Children between the ages of 6 and 8 will know the rules, respect the rules themselves, and act according to the rules.

Therefore, children under the age of 6 are unwilling to share because they are in the egocentric stage and it should not be attributed to "selfishness".

2~5 years old: Egocentric

Children at this stage are completely self-centered, and most of them only know how to protect their own interests and happiness; they cannot see or understand the needs and desires of others. They are fully engaged in the rapid growth of their "self" in their bodies.

Because they cannot recognize that others have different opinions from themselves, children in the egocentric stage often replace others' ideas with their own. For example, a little girl gave her mother a small doll hairpin and a chocolate lollipop as a birthday gift. Both of these things were her favorites. She expected her mother to be very happy, but she would not have thought that her mother was already past the age of liking these things.

After 5 years old: Friendly sharing

Children can gradually get rid of this mentality and try to see things from other people's perspectives. If children at this stage are still "self-centered", unable to sympathize and help others, and do not know friendship and sharing, then parents should take it seriously. Parents must pay attention and take measures in time to help children develop good behaviors such as sharing, sympathy, following rules, helping others, cooperation, and friendship.

How to teach children to share

1. The power of role models

There is a saying that "parents are the best teachers for their children". For preschool children, parents and other family members are undoubtedly their role models. The sharing behavior between parents will make children imitate directly. For example, when mom and dad share a piece of cake, and dad says "thank you", the child may imitate mom's behavior and extend his own food to dad or play toys with dad. At this time, when praising the child, try not to say "baby is great!" in general. Please praise specifically "this cookie is delicious" "it's fun to play toys with baby" and so on. In this way, the child will understand that his behavior will make everyone happy, and will be reinforced to repeat such behavior again or repeatedly.

Some parents may say to their children when they are sharing: "Baby is so good, mommy won't eat it, you eat it yourself." But after a long time, this will cause the child to misunderstand that "sharing is just a form, things are always mine." Once the mother takes a bite, she will get angry and say, "How can you eat my apple?"

2. Moral Evaluation

Studies have shown that significant changes in emotions do not lead to "sharing behavior". There is a "cognitive" process before children's "sharing behavior" occurs. This tells parents that a child's "generosity" has little to do with his actual emotional state, but is more about a process of "moral thinking and evaluation". When children need to share food or toys, they will think about the value of "sharing". "This is a positive behavior that makes everyone happy. It is moral and praised." When parents see sharing behavior, they can also guide their children to evaluate and think about it, just like Zhang Liang did in the picture.

3. When children are rejected, timely comfort

After a child has learned to share and exchange toys, he may be rejected by other children when he extends an invitation. Please comfort your child in time, hug him, and tell him: "We are also sad to see this happen, but there is nothing we can do. The toys are his and he has the right to decide. I hope you will not refuse others when they ask you to borrow toys in the future, otherwise they will also be sad."

Learning to be generous, learning to share with others, and promoting the development of children's pro-social behavior will help them to have a smoother and happier life after entering school.

Definition of Sharing Behavior

It refers to the behavior of the baby using the materials he owns and can control with others, and experiencing his own joy, happiness, benefits, opportunities, etc. with others. Sharing is a kind of ability in children's social interaction. Learning to share is a milestone in the baby's growth process. Parents should pay attention to cultivating it from an early age.

The significance of sharing behavior

Sharing behavior can help young children win playmates and enable them to better acquire skills such as verbal expression and interpersonal communication during activities and interactions. It can help young children learn to get along with others and enjoy things together, so that they can better integrate into society as adults, establish good interpersonal relationships, ensure mental health, and avoid forming bad personality traits such as selfishness, willfulness, and indifference.