The mother's mental journey: Don't say these words to your children

Many mothers have made many mistakes in educating their children. Some of these mistakes may even affect their children's lives. So, have you ever said such things in front of your children? Don't say these things in front of your children.

Sometimes when I look back, I realize that time really waits for no one. Time flies by in the blink of an eye. And I have changed so much from a novice mom who knows nothing to a mom of twins. I am shocked by the changes. I am writing this article today because I want to share with you the shadow of my childhood. I hope that you can learn from my own experience. Don't think that children are too young to understand. There are many things that babies just don't say. I am very lucky to have siblings while growing up.

When I was a child, I played and fought with my younger brother every day. Although we often quarreled, my happiness was doubled because of my younger brother. I remember that whenever my younger brother and I fought, my mother would punish us together, make us stand together, and eat the stick together. In my childhood memory, my younger brother and I shared weal and woe, and my mother treated us the same!

Because of a few words from the elders, I mistakenly thought my mother was partial

Then I will always remember a family gathering that changed my naive thoughts. It was not until I got married and pregnant that I finally let go. I remember what happened. On that day when everyone was together, it seemed that there was no topic to talk about. The elders were used to comparing their children (luckily my mother didn't do this, I am proud of her). Suddenly, several elders said to me very seriously:

"Your mother loves your younger brother more, right?"

"You can see that mom cares more about your brother, right?"

"Your mother has beautiful double eyelids, but you have single eyelids, and your brother has double eyelids." I was still young at that occasion and heard these words. Then they took root in my heart like a curse. I began to find fault with my mother in life, and began to look for evidence that my mother was partial to my younger brother. After hearing those words, I wholeheartedly believed that my younger brother received most of the care and love from my mother, and all I saw with my eyes was how good my mother was to my younger brother.

Jealousy made me miss a lot of good memories

In fact, my mother never stopped punishing my younger brother, but I would always find reasons to convince myself that my mother was partial to my younger brother. This idea, of course, made my childhood very unhappy, but I was still young at that time and would never tell my mother about it, so the knot in my heart always existed, and I was entangled in it foolishly until I got married, became pregnant, and truly went through the process of having a child. I saw my mother's care and love for me, and that she was not afraid of the long journey and would come to me during the holidays to help me take care of the children and let me breathe. I saw that he was old and was reluctant to let me wash the dishes and do housework, and even when he saw me mopping the floor, he would ask him to help me. My mother has always treated me and loved me in her most primitive way. I was ignorant in my childhood, and because I was blinded by jealousy, I didn't experience it at all. It was not until I grew up that I realized how many beautiful memories I had missed.

Don't compare the two children.

Later, I discovered Doudou's existence. The fact that I was about to have two babies made me understand my mother's feelings. Dabao and Erbao, each of them was nurtured and raised by their mother with her life, and each of them was given birth by their mother at the delivery table with all her might. To me, Dabao and Erbao are children who are more important than my own life, and are irreplaceable and unique. So I don't want my child to be misled by others like me, his mother, in the process of growing up. Now that Doudou is not born yet, I especially cherish the days I spend alone with Qbao, and I speak very carefully. I will not say anything in front of Qbao to compare him with his sister, because I don't want to establish a sibling comparison between them. Although he is only 1Y5M now, I still believe that he understands what I want to convey to him. They are siblings, blood relatives who will support each other in the future. They don't have time to help and love each other, so how can they have time to compare?

Never say that

But such an environment, in addition to the protection and creation of parents, also requires the help of relatives and friends around. Never say these words to your children:

"When your brothers and sisters come out, you will fall out of favor."

"If you don't do this or that now, we will love our brothers and sisters more than you in the future."

You never know what kind of impact an unintentional joke will have on a child. Don't think that children are still young, don't think they don't understand. Innocent hearts need to be carefully cared for. I sincerely hope that every baby can avoid the childhood pain like mine, and grow bravely and strong in the care of love.