Which is better, breast milk or formula? The most important thing is that the mother is happy

Whether to give the baby breast milk or formula milk, this is probably a question that many postpartum mothers will struggle with. Everyone says that breast milk is good, but feeding is really too tiring, and they are afraid that formula milk cannot provide enough nutrition for the baby. In fact, whether it is breast milk or formula milk, the most important thing is that the mother is happy~

The difficult journey from breastfeeding to bottle feeding

For my first baby, Q, I fed him with a combination of breast milk and a square bottle for more than seven months.

At that time, I was even surprised by my willpower to express milk. Later, when I was seven months old, the milk production decreased and I had to accumulate milk many times to feed a meal, so I decided to stop milking. Graduating after more than seven months is really a very early stage for many breastfeeding mothers who have been breastfeeding for several years. But to be honest, for me, this is the longest thing I have ever persisted in. Expressing milk is really, really tiring~

When I was pregnant with my second child, many mothers suggested that breastfeeding was the best for me as a full-time mother taking care of my first child. But after going home with Doudou and getting used to it, I decided to switch to bottle feeding.

After switching to bottle feeding, I was finally able to breathe better while feeding two babies at once, and I slowly adjusted the schedules of the twins. To be fair, I had hoped to feed for at least seven months, the same number of months as the older brother, so that I would be worthy of Doudou. However, I decided to stop breastfeeding less than three months due to many factors. On the surface, I was very relaxed about stopping breastfeeding, but in fact, I was really struggling inside at the beginning. I always felt that I was not persistent in expressing milk and not working hard to produce milk, and I was ashamed of Doudou.

I was also afraid that because he didn’t get the nutrition that breast milk provides for babies, his immunity would be worse than his brother’s. I was even more afraid that when she grew up, she would know about this past and think that her mother was partial to her and didn’t feed her well. I think most mothers who gave up breastfeeding have the same feelings as me → if they don’t give up, they’re exhausted, and if they give up, they feel guilty. No need for others to blame me, I’m just being too stubborn! !

Breast milk is really good and is the most suitable nutrition tailored for children, but if you don’t breastfeed, does that mean you are not a good mother?

Before I had my child, I was not very determined to breastfeed. Before I became a mother, I was very free and easy. Whenever someone asked me how I wanted to feed, I would answer like this: I will feed as long as I have milk, and I will stop when I don’t want to feed anymore. Babies who don’t drink breast milk are still healthy and don’t have to be breastfed.

I was so sure before I even unloaded the goods!

As a result, when Q baby was born, I was like a madman with overflowing maternal love. I got up in the middle of the night to express milk, every 4 hours, 24 hours non-stop. In order to produce milk, I supplemented protein and nutrition like crazy, but the body couldn't bear the food, and I had diarrhea for two days. My stomach was swollen because of white spots and milk plugs, and I cried. I was nervous and looked for ways to dredge the mammary glands. I swallowed lecithin, drank water like crazy, and took hot salt water. I tried almost every trick. The hardship of breastfeeding mothers can only be understood by mothers who have experienced it.

I have experienced this, so I especially admire breastfeeding moms. Behind the seemingly easy breastfeeding, it is really not easy!!!

Milking until I collapse

After the first litter got the hang of it, I could express milk while Q was asleep. After two babies, Q was awake during the day, and even when Doudou was asleep, Q still needed my company.

The worst thing was when Doudou and Q were both awake, they both cried for me to accompany them, but expressing milk takes time, and I had to comfort them while expressing. There was only one mother, and when both babies needed me, it was really overwhelming. I knew they needed me to accompany them, but I could only tell them to wait, tell them not to cry, and wait until I finished expressing milk before accompanying them. In the early stage, I had to adapt to the newborns, and with severe lack of sleep, the two babies cried together, and it was really easy to break my rational line. I found that as long as I expressed milk when they were both awake, I would easily break down because I couldn't comfort them, and then bring my emotions to the children. Under such circumstances, I later adjusted the time of expressing milk, and only expressed it three times a day, and the amount of milk naturally decreased. After two months of this situation, expressing breast milk became something that made me feel very tired. Whenever it’s time to milk, I get nervous. As soon as the baby cries, I’ll be eager to finish milking. Many times, I need to put down the breast pump temporarily and comfort the baby. I have to pause several times during a milking session. Finally, I keep thinking, given the current situation of reduced milk flow and bad mood, should I really keep on milking?

Decided to stop breastfeeding and adjust the baby-rearing atmosphere

On weekdays, I am almost a pseudo-single parent because my partner works long hours. From 9 am to 10 pm, the children are already asleep when the father returns home. If you take care of the children alone for a long time and cannot accompany them happily, and often have no patience with them because of being too tired, then you lose the original intention of parenting at home. I think that keeping myself in a good mood can give the children the best growth environment. So, one day I suddenly realized, and then I told my husband that I decided to stop breastfeeding. Fortunately, he has always supported any decision I made. After a week, I stopped breastfeeding safely. After stopping breastfeeding, although I occasionally feel a little guilty towards Doudou.

But without those few periods of milking, I can rest with my children during their naps, and I can be fully with them when they are awake. To be honest, the atmosphere of parenting life is much better for me.

The main purpose of writing this article is not to discuss which is better, breast milk or formula milk, but to share my feeding experience. Of course, it is best to be able to breastfeed.

But if breastfeeding really makes you frustrated and unhappy, formula milk is also a great choice. Don't blame yourself for not breastfeeding, and don't worry about the length of time you breastfeed.

Raising children is a comprehensive process. In addition to providing them with nutrients for growth, they need to be nurtured with love so that they can develop a sound personality. Only happy mothers can have enough patience and love to accompany them as they grow up. Thank you for your hard work, mothers, let's work hard together.