How can parents strengthen parent-child bonding during holidays?

In the process of growing up, sufficient interaction with parents can bring good learning stimulation to babies. Research shows that when parents cannot spend more time with their children, infants and young children are relatively deprived of learning opportunities. Therefore, even if you have to choose to be holiday parents, you still have to pay attention to the quality and quantity of parent-child interaction.

In fact, truly high-quality parent-child interaction needs to be accumulated bit by bit in daily life. Especially in the 0-3 years old stage, only when you spend enough time with your child can you understand the child's needs and living habits; only when you are sensitive to the child, take the initiative to talk to the child, or know how to respond to the child's crying, laughing, calling and behavior, can it be called a quality interaction.

Think about it. Have you noticed that when your baby is 0 to 1 years old, he likes to look at people's faces, recognizes the voices of his parents, and responds immediately when you gently pat or kiss him. When your baby is 1 to 2 years old, he will start to show intimacy with you, make adults laugh, listen carefully to adults' conversations and imitate them, like to use some actions to attract adults' attention, and like to hold adults' hands to make himself feel safe. When he is 2 to 3 years old, it seems that he is the most difficult and stubborn period, but because he wants to be independent and seek your approval, he is prone to lose his temper or show hostility because of resisting authority. If you have observed all the reactions of your child and accompanied him through them, congratulations! You have laid a great foundation for your child's growth and your relationship.

Although new parents often feel distressed when faced with their baby's clinginess, this early attachment relationship is the prototype of future interpersonal relationships and is of great significance to the child's growth.

If you must leave your child in someone else's care, even if it is only day care, do not rush your child to a new caregiver, especially for children between 6 months and 2 years old. This is because children at this age are already shy about strangers. When they see their parents leave, they will show anxious behaviors such as crying, screaming, shouting, kicking, etc. Young babies do not know that their parents leaving their sight does not mean they will leave forever, and it is difficult for them to understand that their parents cannot stick with them all the time. Therefore, children show these reactions mainly to ensure that their parents will come back to comfort them and reduce the possibility of leaving them again.

To make your baby feel at ease, you can first invite the new caregiver to your home so that the child can have a preliminary understanding of the nanny or elder, then take the child to the other party's home to familiarize him or her with the environment, and gradually increase the length of stay to allow the child to adapt.

Beforehand and when the child just changes environment, remember to fully communicate with the caregiver and tell him/her about the child's daily routine and personality so that he/she can take care of the child more easily. For example, let him/her know what kind of soothing method the baby likes when sleeping.

Since the time spent together is limited, we should choose activities that are helpful for children's learning and can warm up their relationship. The following suggestions are provided from the perspectives of weekdays and holidays:

Call regularly or use video conferencing to allow children to hear and see their parents.

Please ask caregivers to help record the child’s important growth experiences so as to understand the child’s latest growth status, such as: making “ah” sounds, sitting steadily...

Let the caregiver have parent-child photos at home, and teach the child that mom and dad love him, and talk about the things mom and dad did with him, for example: "This is the zoo that mom and dad went to with you! Dad loves you and will hold you high..." Through conversation content and images, the child's memory of shared experiences will be deepened.

Prepare attachment objects for your child. When your child needs comfort, in addition to the company of a caregiver, there are also small dolls given by parents or toys that parents and children have played with together to relieve the child's emotions.

Prepare enough learning resources, such as picture books or children's song CDs, and ask caregivers to help their children learn. You can also talk to your children about the story or sing a familiar nursery rhyme during phone calls.

Pick up your child from the babysitter's home as early as possible during the holidays, so that he or she can get familiar with the regular home life easily, tell stories and play with toys together. If the child is old enough to be a little helper, you may do housework and cooking with him or her, so that he or she can become more familiar with the things and habits of this family, and successfully create a feeling of "being a family".

If the child is being cared for at the home of an elder, it is recommended to maintain the child's original pace of life, and have the child play, eat, and sleep according to his or her original schedule. This can not only help the child calm down emotionally, but also allow parents to have a better understanding of the child's true daily life.

The time spent together on holidays should leave children with pleasant memories and positive experiences. Therefore, the activities chosen should be suitable for the children's age and physical strength. It is best not to spend all the time eating, drinking and having fun in crowded playgrounds outside, so that children will mistakenly think that is the way to spend time with their parents.

Physical contact is also a way to enhance intimacy. If you cannot spend time together often on weekdays, it is best to have more opportunities to hug, massage or pat your child during holidays. You can also have close contact with your child through personal care, such as changing diapers, bathing, feeding, etc.

Parent-child interaction requires a back-and-forth process, which takes time and needs to be naturally integrated into life. For parents and children, being able to live together is still the best, so parents should prepare early and use other support systems (such as finding a nanny who provides home services) to gradually increase the time their children spend at home. When the quality and quantity of parent-child interactions are improved, children will not only have a sense of security and trust, but will also be more able to overcome separation anxiety in the future, extend their lives to the world outside the home, and learn and grow happily.