This is how postpartum depression comes! Don’t ever say these things to a new mother!

Postpartum mothers are weak and have to take care of not only themselves but also their newborn babies. The busy schedule is very stressful and physically taxing. If they don't get help and care from their family, postpartum depression is likely to set in. So what are the words that new mothers hate to hear?

New mothers describe their postpartum life

There are many noises around that are irritating to a novice mother. Under the fatigue of lack of sleep and fighting with a newborn, these noises can easily make the mother feel depressed and unhappy. It is really easy to get postpartum depression. I cried secretly several times, and I don’t feel ashamed at all. Who doesn’t need time to adapt to this huge change? What’s more, in addition to these adjustments, there are also changes in my own body to face...

Well! It has been more than two months since my son was born. These days, it is like attending a devil training camp. With the birth of the child, it means that my responsibility has increased. I will have to carry this sweet burden for the rest of my life. I stayed in the hospital for three days and stayed in the confinement center for 20 days. Although there are nurses in the confinement center to guide the details of daily care, after taking little Q Bao home, the child is like reinstalling. Everything is cut off and retrained, and the devil training also begins here. After returning home, every day I spend milking, feeding, changing diapers, washing buttocks, and serving Uncle Q Bao's daily life. Originally, under the training of the confinement center, my son asked for milk about once every three and a half to four hours, and he could fall asleep obediently. After returning home, because of the unfamiliar environment and the unfamiliarity of taking care of new parents, as soon as Q Bao cries, we either feed him or pick him up quickly, and even let him sleep on our bodies when we see that he doesn't sleep well.

Little did we know that these have become obstacles for little Q Bao to fall asleep on his own. Yes, we have formed the habit of needing to be coaxed to sleep. Q Bao is almost impossible to put down, and he will cry when put down. I can't be a centenarian doctor (no criticism, purely personal choice), so I tried to let him cry for five minutes, but the little guy cried until his whole body was swollen and red, and he clung to me even tighter. Some friends told me that children will soon not need your arms, so hold them more while you can. I absolutely agree with this statement, and I am also happy to hold my own children more. But every time I see Q Bao sleeping in his arms, I always worry about being put down. After falling asleep, his eyes are half open and his hands are tightly clasped. How can his sleep quality be good?

In the first two months, the baby was hanging on me all day, and I couldn't do anything, not even time to express milk. I was so tired and sleepy, and the milk was so painful because I didn't express it. When the baby cried like crazy, I admit that I also cried silently. Although taking care of children is very simple, I just can't find time to do other housework. I admire housewives who can take care of children and cook at the same time. How do they squeeze out the time (scratching my head)?

The words new mothers hate to hear the most

My daily life consisted of expressing milk, feeding, washing bottles, and changing diapers. In a three-hour cycle, I would feed for half an hour and express milk for an hour. If the child was lucky enough to fall asleep, I would have one hour to rest. During this hour, I would have to wash the bottles, eat, and feed myself. In the first two months, the words I hated to hear the most were nothing more than the following:

1. When your child sleeps, you should sleep with him.

In fact, when the child is sleeping, we still have a lot of things to do during this time, such as milking, washing bottles and feeding. What's more, when you are done and want to sleep, the child will wake up by himself! We really want to sleep, but the reality is really different.

2. Don’t hold him all the time. Put him down when he falls asleep.

My son is like a radar. He was sleeping soundly and snoring the previous second, and he burst into tears as soon as I put him down. Although I know that it is a habit caused by holding him for too long, it will take more than one or two days to stop. I also want to put him down, but it depends on whether he can stop crying. Every time I hear people advising me like this, I always roll my eyes several times. I know what everyone said, but I found out too late. Now I am trying to stop holding him and continue to make progress.

3. Is there a lot of breast milk? You should eat more healthy food. You can't eat this or that.

Breastfeeding not only causes breast deformation, but also requires regular milking every day. You worry that if you don’t milk your baby, the baby will not be full, and you will not get enough sleep. You also have to endure possible pain and inflammation. You are willing to do all this for the baby’s health. Occasionally, if you want to eat something, a sip of coffee or a small piece of chocolate, mothers will be happy for a long time. Let them eat. We care about the baby’s health more than you do. We will not satisfy your appetite unscrupulously. We just want to relax our appetite. Why are you so nervous? Don’t use too high a standard to examine breastfeeding mothers.

4. Children are not clones. No matter how well behaved other people's children are, it's none of my business.

Every child is the apple of their parents' eyes, but they also have their own personality, just like you are different from others. Don't always tell me how well-behaved someone else's child is, and how they don't cry or make a fuss like an angel. My son has such a personality. If I heat the milk a few seconds late, he will cry until he is hoarse and collapse. But what else can I do as a mother except to patiently persuade him that he must be more patient in life? Every child has his own personality. Don't compare him with other children. It will only make you upset.

5. Bottle feeding or breast feeding is fine, whatever is convenient for the mother.

After breastfeeding, I chose bottle feeding as the main method because I want to know how much my baby drinks and my family can also help with feeding. But there are always people who keep suggesting that breastfeeding is convenient, can enhance the relationship, and does not require milk pumping. Even Pi Dan's mother has been asking me to breastfeed. Of course, I know that these suggestions are well-intentioned. But, but, I just choose bottle feeding as the main method. Respect really makes me feel much more relaxed, and I absolutely believe that Q Bao will still love me very much if I use bottle feeding.

New mothers also need the warmth of their family

In addition to these words, there are still many sounds around that make new mothers feel irritated. Under the fatigue of lack of sleep and fighting with the newborn, these sounds can easily make mothers feel depressed and unhappy. It is really super easy to get postpartum depression. I cried secretly several times, and I don’t think it’s shameful at all. Who doesn’t need time to adapt to this huge change? What’s more, in addition to these adjustments, there are also changes in your own body to face (looking down at the sagging belly).

After more than two months, the situation is really much better than when I first returned home, but there are still times that make me frustrate (for example, the child keeps crying), but it has really improved a lot compared to the beginning, and I sleep a lot more than before. I remember when I first returned home, I almost collapsed on the sofa with exhaustion. Every day when the devil came home, I saw a tired person, and then I would rush to do housework and take a shower while he was at home, and even had to use the toilet when he was at home. Raising a child is not easy, because there are so many things to re-adjust. Fortunately, my family and my husband have always been great.

My husband would take the initiative to take care of my son after work and on holidays, giving me a chance to catch my breath. My family would also take turns to help me take care of the child, so that I could eat well and express milk well. I also have a group of caring sisters who would listen to me and complain about unhappy things when I was upset. I heard that the child would be easier to take care of after three months. I am really looking forward to the arrival of this day. All new mothers, let us work hard together~