What should I do if my child lacks confidence? How can I make my child confident and bold?

The influence of the original family may last a lifetime during the early development stage of children. Today, I will give you a detailed introduction on how parents can correctly guide their children to develop in a positive way if their children are not confident and timid. The education of the baby must be acted immediately.

What to do if your child lacks confidence

Method 1: Compare less, encourage and praise positive behaviors more. Not only should you praise your child when he/she does well, but you should also encourage him/her when he/she makes an effort, even if he/she does not achieve the expected goal.

Method 2: Discover and correct wrong beliefs in time. The child has good grades in all subjects except mathematics. The child may think that he is a stupid student. "You are a good student. Math is just one of several subjects. You will get better grades if you spend more time on it."

Method 3: Show your love to your child. Hold your child in your arms and tell him that you are proud of him. Praise him frequently and sincerely.

Method 4: Create a good family atmosphere. Children will lose their self-confidence when they feel insecure or abused at home, such as when their parents often quarrel. Make your home a safe haven for your children and always pay attention to whether your children are being abused by others.

Method 5: Tell your children not to pay too much attention to appearance, find role models in life, and tell your children that confident people are the most beautiful and charming people to enhance their self-confidence.

Method 6: Don't use one ruler to measure all children. Everyone has different strengths, just like there are no two leaves in the world that are exactly the same. Carefully observe your child's strengths and encourage them in time.

Method 7: Help children establish a correct view of learning and understand the growth characteristics of children at each age stage; stand in the child's perspective, understand the essence of the child's external behavior as a prerequisite, and correctly cultivate and adjust the child's external behavior based on the objective living environment created by parents for the child.

Method 8: Let children experience success in practice and build self-confidence. Human ability includes many aspects, and every child has his or her own strengths and weaknesses. As a teacher, you should give every child equal care and love, and create equal opportunities for every child so that they can see their own abilities and be confident. Teachers should strive to create conditions and carry out rich and colorful activities, so that children can be the masters of learning, so that all children have the opportunity to use their hands, brains, and mouths, and can confidently show their talents. For example: set up various activity areas in the activity room, provide children with sufficient materials and a wide range of activities, ensure activity time, and let children freely choose the content of activities according to their wishes. Create conditions for children to explore themselves and show their talents in a free and relaxed atmosphere.

Method 9: Provide your baby with a choice. The basic principle is to let your baby choose one of the two, because at his age, too many choices will make him feel at a loss. For example, ask him whether he wants to wear polka-dot pants or stripes; whether he wants to color or draw; whether he wants to eat steamed buns or bread for breakfast. Every time he has a chance to make a choice, his self-confidence will grow a little. Let him know that you trust his judgment, which will enhance his self-worth.

Method 10: Correct your child's behavior promptly and accurately. Don't say "You always don't read the questions carefully." This will make the child think that he or she cannot control himself or herself. "You really read too quickly this time, but I would be very happy if you could read more slowly."

Method 11: Support your baby's moderate risk-taking Encourage your child to explore new things, such as trying a new food, making a good friend, or going down the slide. Although there is always the possibility of failure, without taking risks, the chances of success will be pitiful. Therefore, within the scope of safety, let your baby explore and experiment, and restrain your own urge to intervene. For example, when he is figuring out how to play with a new toy, if he shows slight frustration, try not to rush to "rescue" him. Even if you just jump in and say "I'll do it", it will make him dependent and undermine his self-confidence. Strike a balance between your desire to protect him and his need to solve new problems, so as to cultivate his confidence and self-esteem.

The development of children's self-confidence

Self-esteem refers to the long-term evaluation of oneself that an individual makes, which reflects the degree of confidence that an individual has in his or her own abilities, importance, success, and value. To put it more simply, self-esteem is the feeling and experience of self-worth.

The overall feeling of self-worth is generally related to two factors: one is feeling capable, and the other is being able to feel social support from others. Those who experience a higher level of self-worth will feel satisfied with their own value, and will also be more likely to feel the support and acceptance of others. To improve self-esteem, we must simultaneously improve social support and the ability to feel, and enhance the positive experience of self-worth.

American psychologist Susan Hart has spent 20 years studying the development of self and self-esteem. In a large project on self-esteem, Susan Hart proposed five aspects of children's self-evaluation:

1. Academic ability: how children view their academic abilities;

Second, athletic ability, how the child feels about his or her own athletic ability;

3. Social competence: whether the child feels welcomed by his peers;

Fourth, appearance, how good-looking the child thinks he is;

5. Behavior: the degree to which the child believes his or her behavior is accepted by others.

Young children tend to overestimate their abilities in these areas, but starting around age 7, they become more realistic and consistent in their self-evaluations. They acknowledge both failures and successes, both negative and positive aspects. This trend continues throughout the school years. However, children focus on different aspects of their self-evaluations at different stages of growth. In middle childhood, peer acceptance and athletic ability are the most important. Starting in adolescence, appearance becomes the most important aspect for almost all children.

When children enter the first grade of primary school, high self-esteem can help them adapt to the increasing learning pressure and increasingly complex peer relationships as soon as possible. When encountering problems or difficulties, a high level of self-esteem will give children a shot in the arm; when encountering injustice from teachers or contempt from classmates, a high level of self-esteem will make children "disdainful". Susan Hart's research shows that children aged 3 to 7 with high self-esteem have two major characteristics: they are calm in emergency situations; they have psychological resilience when facing setbacks or difficulties. Therefore, we must attach importance to cultivating children's self-esteem and self-confidence from the early childhood stage, gradually improve their self-esteem, and make their transition from kindergarten to primary school calmer and happier.

Parents do this to make their children more confident

1. Children who are accompanied and recognized by their parents have reason to be confident

Children who do not receive the company and recognition of their parents will subconsciously feel that it is because they are not good enough and not outstanding enough that their parents do not like them, are unwilling to accompany them, and are unwilling to affirm and encourage them. This inferiority complex will gradually penetrate into their bones and even affect their lives.

When many children grow up, they may have outstanding qualities in the eyes of outsiders, but they still subconsciously believe that they do not deserve a better life, so they mess up their hard-earned good life. For example, they may have a good career but cannot stick to it, or they may find it difficult to maintain a lasting relationship with their ideal partner.

Therefore, do not make any excuses for yourself. The most basic responsibility and obligation of being a parent is to accompany your children with high quality and give them affirmation and recognition in time. Especially before the child is 3 years old, your smile, applause, and "You are awesome!" are all helping your child accumulate confidence in herself and the world little by little.

2. Children who find their own strengths are confident and confident

Self-confidence is not blind arrogance, because the self-confidence brought by blind arrogance is like a "paper tiger" that cannot withstand the test of reality. Once you encounter setbacks, it is easier to deny yourself and even become depressed. True self-confidence is based on the correct understanding and evaluation of yourself.

When I was young, I used to feel inferior to my single eyelids, thinking that my eyes were not big enough or beautiful enough, but my father often encouraged me with an old saying: "Big eyes are dull, small eyes are charming." Later, when I grew up, I felt that among so many people with double eyelids, my single eyelids were so rare and unique.

A few days ago, I read the picture book "I Like Myself" to my daughter. The frog Frog finally understood: Although I can't fly like a duck, can't cook like a pig, can't make things like a mouse, and can't read like a hare, I can swim and jump, and my green is my favorite color. I am a great frog! What a profound understanding!

What are your child's strengths? What are his/her advantages and lovable qualities? Does the child know these things? Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. People who see their strengths will accept and appreciate themselves, while people who focus on their weaknesses will inevitably feel inferior and negative. Therefore, parents must guide children to see their own strengths in practice, whether external or internal, and encourage them in due course.

3. Children who are well-informed have confidence in their vision.

With parent-child programs everywhere, you may have discovered a fact: children from celebrity families usually appear more confident than children of the same age, and can remain calm like little adults when facing various large occasions and flashing spotlights.

The reason is very simple. Because of their parents' jobs, these children often have the opportunity to attend various occasions and go to all parts of the world. The more they see, the broader their horizons will be, and their self-confidence will also increase. This is like Granny Liu entering the Grand View Garden. The first time she came, she was timid and cautious. If she had come more often, her temperament would naturally improve.

Therefore, take your children out to play more often, expose them to more different occasions and people, try more new things, enhance their knowledge, and broaden their horizons. Children will naturally become confident and brave because of their understanding and familiarity.

4. Only independent children can be capable and confident

A confident child must be an independent child who knows how to deal with any situation. Without this premise, self-confidence is blind and empty.

Where does independence come from? A parent asked, "My son is two years and seven months old. He needs someone to accompany him when he does anything. He needs someone to accompany him when he gets something. He can't do it independently. How should I guide him?"

In fact, every child has independent "innate genes" and does not need to be cultivated at all. The key lies in whether parents can grasp the critical period of gene awakening and let go and give their children the opportunity to be independent.

I personally feel this very deeply. When my daughter was about 18 months old, she didn't want adults to help her with anything, such as putting on socks, shoes, pants, etc. She would protest loudly "no, no" when we approached her, and then she would try very hard on her own. I was happy to seize this opportunity to let her imitate and practice on her own. As a result, she was less than 2 years old. In addition to being able to eat, throw away diapers, wipe her face, etc., she could basically put on any shoes that were not too tight, and in most cases she would not wear them the wrong way.

Therefore, give children more freedom and autonomy, allow them to make their own choices and decisions, allow them to explore and try, and allow them to fail. This is the basic rule to improve children's independence and self-confidence.

This right ranges from allowing a child of a few months old to crawl around on the floor, rummaging through boxes and cabinets to satisfy his curiosity, and occasionally being alone and doing nothing, to allowing him to choose whether to eat or not, what clothes to wear, how much to wear, when to do homework, what extracurricular books to read, which friends to make, etc. What parents need to do is to provide reasonable suggestions and guidance at the right time, rather than taking over everything.