Is it selfish not to have a second child? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a second child?

Recently, a piece of news about having a second child leaked out. A mother took her child and ran away from home because she refused to agree to her mother-in-law's request for having a second child. The family quarreled and the mother-in-law also said something about the child's mother not having a second child. Regarding such an issue, let's take a look at the pros and cons of having a second child.

Is it selfish not to have a second child?

[Daughter-in-law ran away from home to avoid having a second child. Mother-in-law: Not having a second child is selfish] "Now you can have a second child, why not! She is selfish." After the second child policy was implemented, Wang, a mother in Fuzhou, wanted to have another grandchild and urged her 36-year-old daughter-in-law to have a second child, otherwise "she would die with regret". The daughter-in-law felt that raising a child was too tiring and did not want to have another one. Eventually, the family conflict escalated and the daughter-in-law ran away from home with her child.

"She can have a second child now, why doesn't she? I think she is just selfish." At 9:20 am yesterday, a mother and son walked into the Gaishan Police Station in Cangshan District to report that their family had been missing for two days. After investigation, the police learned that the missing family member was the man's wife, Xiaojuan (36 years old, from Fuzhou). When the caller, Guo, talked about the reason why his wife ran away, he felt a little embarrassed.

At this time, Guo's mother Wang Yimu told the truth. It turned out that after the second child policy was implemented, Wang Yimu hoped that she could still be alive and have another grandchild, so she urged her daughter-in-law Xiaojuan to have another child. Guo also often expressed his idea of ​​having another child to Xiaojuan. However, Xiaojuan always disagreed, thinking that raising a child was too tiring.

Wang Yimu and her son refused to give up and often nagged Xiaojuan. They quarreled over this issue several times. On the evening of March 15, at the dinner table, Wang Yimu told Xiaojuan seriously that she hoped she could have another child this year, otherwise she would die with regret!

Guo didn't want to make his mother sad, so he tried his best to persuade Xiaojuan. However, Xiaojuan was stubborn and refused to agree. Wang Yimu cried and left the house. Guo was furious with Xiaojuan. The aggrieved Xiaojuan took the opportunity when Guo went out to look for her mother-in-law and left home with her child. Guo found his mother, but he didn't wait for his wife to come home. It was not until yesterday morning that he and his mother went to the police station to report the case.

After understanding the situation, the police patiently comforted the mother and son, carefully analyzed Xiaojuan's possible whereabouts, and asked the mother and son to look for her at nearby friends or relatives' homes.

At about 4 p.m. yesterday, Guo called the police and said he had found his wife at a friend's house and had taken her home. Both parties will properly handle the issue of having a second child.

What are the benefits of having a second child?

The benefits of having a second child:

Let the first child not be lonely. Especially for some parents of only children born in the 1980s, as an only child, they feel lonely from childhood to adulthood, with no one to share their joys and worries with. It is not lively and fun at all, and they envy others who have brothers and sisters. So they always want their children to have a companion, which is better than being alone. When they grow up, they can help each other, and they can have more relatives and friends to visit more often.

The second benefit of having a second child:

It makes parents feel a little bit supported when they are old. If there is only one child, they may go to school and work in the future, and maybe settle down in another place. Parents are at home, and the house is lifeless and no one is around. It looks so sad. If there is one more child, maybe there will always be one child who can stay with them, and they will not feel so lost and lonely when they are old. With children around, they can serve tea and water, and there is someone to take care of them when they catch a cold or get sick.

The three benefits of having a second child:

It makes the heart feel more complete. Some families, if they have a daughter, may want to have a boy to make a perfect couple. Although it is the same to have a boy or a girl, in some rural areas, especially some elderly people who prefer grandchildren, they may put some pressure on the daughter-in-law to have a second child. In this way, if a boy happens to be born, the family will feel very proud and complete. It is said that there are more boys than girls now. I wonder if this is the case.

Benefit 4: Make the older child more independent

Only children always make people feel lonely. In fact, as people's living standards have improved, children are becoming more and more "precious". Therefore, many only children have others to do everything for them. They cannot share their worries with others in time. More importantly, they are likely to develop a "self-centered" personality. If a second child is born, the family elders will naturally focus on the second child. If there is something delicious at home, they will ask the eldest child to share it. In this way, the older child can develop an independent personality and feel the preciousness of sisterly love.

Benefit 5: More harmonious family

Compared to a family with only one child, having two children is more conducive to family harmony. Especially for families whose first child is already in his teens and no longer needs excessive care from parents, having another child can make all family members busy again, which is more conducive to family harmony. For example, if the first child is a boy or a girl, adding a child to make up a good word is also a great thing, right?

Benefit 6: More security

People will always get older. If there is only one child, then the child will definitely grow up in the future, fly away, marry and have children, and live his own life. At this time, if there are two children, maybe one of them can stay with the parents. Especially when the parents are sick, two children can take turns to share the burden, which is definitely better than having only one child.

Benefit 7: Better protection for children

As parents age, no one can guarantee that they can always accompany their children. People living in this world will inevitably encounter various difficulties. At this time, if there is a brother or sister who can help you share the burden, accompany you to grow up, and go hand in hand, then it is definitely a great thing. The so-called brothers and sisters are united, and their strength is like this.

Benefit 8: Women’s health

For example, if you did not take good care of yourself during your first pregnancy and suffered from postpartum sickness, you can now adjust yourself by having a second child.

1. Delaying menopause

Menopause is a process that everyone has to face from middle age to old age. The earlier the menopause comes, the earlier women age, and the later the menopause comes, the slower they age. Studies have found that during pregnancy and breastfeeding, women's ovaries stop ovulating due to hormones, and since the ovaries stop ovulating, menopause can be delayed. In fact, studies have found that having one more child is very helpful in preventing and treating many gynecological diseases.

2. Prevention and treatment of endometriosis

Regarding using pregnancy to treat endometriosis. Gynecologists say that pregnancy and childbirth are the most effective and least side-effect-prone methods for treating endometriosis. At the same time, childbirth can also curb the onset of endometriosis.

3. Improve pain resistance

A complete pregnancy and childbirth process will inevitably make women go through many unprecedented experiences, especially the pain of natural childbirth, which will be helpful in improving the expectant mother's own pain resistance.

4. Improve the body’s immunity

Studies have found that pregnancy can not only enhance the disease resistance of the female reproductive system, but also greatly help reduce many gynecological diseases such as breast disease, ovarian disease, uterine disease, and cardiovascular disease. A survey found that the more times a woman is pregnant, the more effective it is in preventing the occurrence of ovarian cancer. Of course, we also know that from the current situation of many people, it is enough to have two children. If there are too many pregnancies and too many births, the future education expenses and various expenses are not so easy to deal with. After all, it is not about the number of children, but the cultivation of children in all aspects.

Speaking of having children can improve the body's immunity, it is necessary to emphasize that if conditions permit, you must try to choose breastfeeding. Because many surveys have shown that breastfeeding for more than three months can reduce the incidence of certain diseases and cancers. Many women are also worried that breastfeeding will make their breasts deformed and lose their charm. In fact, foreign surgical studies have shown that the probability of unmarried women getting breast cancer is much higher than that of women who have normal pregnancy and childbirth. The probability of women who have breastfed twice is much lower than that of women who have only given birth to one child. In addition, for women's breasts, if they have not been breastfed, they can only be considered to be developing at most, and only the breasts of women who have truly experienced breastfeeding can be considered "mature" breasts, and such breasts are truly attractive.

After hearing this, do those couples who do not want to have children or do not plan to have a second child have any insights? Of course, we also know that having a second child is not just about getting pregnant and giving birth. It is also related to the future education of the child, the relationship between the two children, economic issues, etc. Therefore, although having a second child has many benefits for women's health, it is best to consider these issues comprehensively before preparing for pregnancy.

In fact, it is not difficult to have a second child. It is recommended that mothers must make some preparations in advance. First, do a "family opinion survey" to see whether everyone welcomes a younger brother or sister, especially the child's father and the eldest child in the family; second, for mothers who do not want to give up their careers, they must make reasonable arrangements for future work and life to ensure that they can have time for their children even at work. Don't be too hasty or too busy to have a second child just for the sake of having a second child.

I hope that mothers who want to have a second child will be able to calmly face the busy but not chaotic life of having two children in the near future, and happily enjoy the warmth, happiness and satisfaction that having two children brings.

What are the disadvantages of having a second child?

Disadvantages of having a second child:

The family burden has become heavier. From the birth of the child to the education in college, it costs money, and a lot of money. You have to buy milk powder, right? Others have to attend early childhood education classes, training classes, etc., which is probably not a small amount of money, and there are also food, clothing, housing and transportation. The money that may have been planned to be saved for other things must be used to raise the child. After giving birth to a second child, mothers will probably not be as reckless as before when buying cosmetics and clothes. (Those with good economic conditions will definitely not have this problem) But our national conditions are that there are many poor people after all. If you have another child, the cost of raising a child, tuition, etc. will really make the average family breathless! (The vast majority of families are reluctant to have a second child because of this reason)

Disadvantages of having a second child:

You have to devote more time and energy. I have seen mothers in the community who have given birth to their second child. Especially when the child is still relatively young and the elderly cannot help, the husband has to go to work and they have to support the family alone. They have to take care of the older child's study and life, and take care of the younger child. They are so busy every day that they don't even have time to comb their hair, let alone have their own rest time. They serve their children 24 hours a day, and they don't have enough food or sleep. They have to worry more about their children.

Disadvantages of having a second child:

Affects the family's living standards and quality of life. The family originally planned to take some money to go on a trip, but after having a second child, it was impossible to go out. The burden of life has increased, and working parents have to work harder to earn money to support the family. It is said that there is a boss who opened a small supermarket nearby. He gave birth to a son as the first child and wanted to have another daughter, but who knew that he gave birth to twin sons. As a result, the mother of the children felt that the pressure of life was too great and chose to divorce. However, this is a minority after all.

There will be problems of unfair treatment

(This problem is not very obvious when you are young) After you get married, one of you will always feel that your parents are biased towards the other. There are too many tragedies of brothers and sisters fighting for property! In the end, there is no one to support the parents!

One resource for two people to share, after all, energy is limited

Many things cannot be taken care of as carefully as taking care of a child! (Careless parents will lose sight of the big picture) It is better to have only one child!

Taking care of two children is not enough energy;

When you have one baby, or maybe you are just starting to become a mother, you will seem to be in a rush; soon after, you will adapt to and like the role of a mother, and you will be very comfortable with it, so you will think about having another baby. When you really have a second baby, you will feel that your energy is limited and you are unable to do what you want! When you have one child, the child will always get tired. When the child is tired and takes a rest, you can also take the opportunity to take a rest so that you have the energy to play with the child and do other things; if you have two children, the two children's schedules will definitely not be the same. One child falls asleep, and the other child is still energetic. It seems that it will take a long time for the child to fall asleep. After waiting for this baby to fall asleep, before you can recover, the other baby has already woken up. Can you handle such a wheel tactic?

There is less “sweet” time for couples;

When there is only one baby, the financial pressure is not that great, and the mother is not that tired. After the baby falls asleep, the couple can still enjoy their sweet time. However, if there are two babies, the father's financial pressure will be greater, and he will spend more time at work and thinking about how to make more money. The mother has limited energy because she has to take turns to take care of two children. When the babies fall asleep, the father and mother are too tired to move after a busy day and just want to lie down and have a good sleep. Therefore, there are even fewer sweet and loving times.

Causing parent-child conflicts

Today, only children are more fragile and sensitive psychologically, and the first child may not be able to fully accept it emotionally and behaviorally. When faced with a newborn baby who is younger than themselves and gets more attention from their parents, the frustration of being threatened, deprived, and robbed will be more obvious. They don't know how to balance the love for the two children, which induces parent-child conflicts.

Children’s education is not guaranteed

After the full implementation of the two-child policy, a large number of children have reached school age, and the originally sufficient kindergarten or primary school places have gradually become saturated. In order to cope with the impact of this policy, many district and county education departments have adjusted their household registration policies for enrollment. This series of measures will make it more difficult for children to enter kindergartens and schools.

Impact on career development

Being unable to stay at home full-time due to life pressures will inevitably distract from work. Emotionally, it means that fathers have to spend more time with their children, and some mothers may even have to become full-time mothers, which is not conducive to women's career development and improvement of their social status, thus causing conflicts within the family.