How to deal with children lying? Why do children lie?

When children are young, they always have a common problem, which is lying. How should adults deal with children's lies? Why do children like to lie?

Lying is not a habit that can be formed once or twice. This phenomenon is caused by long-term accumulation. Therefore, as long as you know that your child is lying, you must find out the reason. In order to prevent children from forming the habit of lying, you must choose the right way to guide and educate them. Many children are afraid of being scolded by their parents when they make mistakes, so they make up lies.

In fact, children's lying is also closely related to the way their parents educate them. Some parents either beat or scold their children for making mistakes, which makes their children afraid to tell the truth. Over time, they will develop the habit of lying. Therefore, in life, when you find that your children have made mistakes, you should teach them patiently and give them the right guidance, and don't be too harsh.

If children lie, parents should tell them that this is wrong. Parents should also communicate with their children patiently, so that they feel that their parents are not against them and can communicate with them at ease. This can prevent children from lying because they are afraid of being scolded. When educating children, parents need to be patient and set an example.

(1) Children are afraid of being punished by their parents: Some parents scold or beat their children when they do something wrong. Children are afraid of being scolded or beaten, so they lie to cover up their mistakes. This kind of cover-up is forgiven by their parents, so when they do something wrong for the second or third time, they lie again to seek forgiveness.

(2) Escaping from reality: Sometimes when children are unwilling to do or unable to do something, they complain about having a headache or a stomachache and use all sorts of lies to deceive their parents. Such lies often gain sympathy from their parents, so they will often lie to shirk responsibility in the future.

(3) Love of reputation and face: The child did not do a good deed, but he said it was his, so he could get a reward and save face, so he lied. He did something that was actually done by him, but he did it poorly, so he said it was not his, which was also a lie.

(4) Greed: Many children lie to satisfy their greed and want to eat something. Some children cheat in their studies or exams in order to get high scores or prizes, and even claim that they are better than others. This is because of greed.

First, don’t beat around the bush and tell the truth. Parents shouldn’t ask questions that may cause children to lie, especially when children suspect that parents already know the result and are deliberately trying to get them to tell the truth. Everyone hates being questioned, and children are no exception.

Second, ask less why. Another way parents can prevent children from lying is to avoid asking "why". To children, "why" means that their parents disapprove, are disappointed, and are unhappy. Even a simple "Why did you do that?" may make children think "I made a mistake again, and my parents are going to scold me again!"

Third, when communicating with children, parents should avoid asking hurtful questions, such as: Why did you lie again! Why don’t you remember what I told you? Why do you always procrastinate? Why don’t you learn from your mistakes? Why can’t you shut up? Don’t ask rhetorical questions that have no answers. Parents should make sympathetic statements, such as: Your classmates will be happy if you can share with them. Today’s homework is a bit heavy, we will work with you. You have a lot of ideas.

Finally, there is one more point worth mentioning: be cautious when using severe punishment, and never use corporal punishment on children. Last year, a 12-year-old child stabbed his mother to death. The cause was that the child was found smoking at home by his mother, so the mother beat the child with a belt. Although punishment can inhibit children's lying behavior, it cannot eradicate the behavior of children. Moreover, if you punish them this time, the child may tell more lies next time in order to avoid punishment.

What if the child still lies? Parents can take appropriate mild punishment measures. For example, foreign families often use a "behavior account book" to record the good and bad behaviors of children on a daily basis and express them in scores. When the child cleans the room carefully, he can get 10 points, put away the toys, he can get 10 points, and if he lies, he will be deducted 20 points. When the score reaches 100 points, parents can give the child appropriate spiritual or material rewards.

There is a certain relationship between children's lying and ADHD. ADHD is a common disease in childhood. This disease is related to many reasons, and the symptoms are also varied. Most ADHD children are mainly manifested by excessive activity. These people cannot sit quietly and find it difficult to engage in quiet activities. Some children with ADHD also have conduct disorders. These people not only beat and scold their classmates and destroy public property, but also lie, skip school, steal, etc. These behaviors should be stopped in time to avoid affecting their future entry into society.