What is the educational significance of Home with Kids? Home with Kids Growing Up

With Yang Zi's popularity, the well-known TV series "Home with Kids" starring her when she was a child has also been talked about again. The editor revisited the old drama and found that the parenting methods of the children in "Home with Kids" actually have problems. Let me list them~

As children grow up, what we should value is the effort they put into everything they do and their attitude towards things, rather than taking the results too seriously. Of course, success can strengthen a child's self-confidence and encourage him to keep working hard, but when the results are not ideal, parents should provide timely psychological counseling to help children realize that the process is more important than the results. In fact, the fun experienced in the process is far more meaningful than the results.

Xia Yu: Only the elder sister is allowed to set fire, but the younger brother is not allowed to light a lamp! Xia Donghai: Do not change idioms at random! Only the governor is allowed to set fire, but the people are not allowed to light a lamp! Xia Yu: "But there is only an elder sister in my family, no governor!"

In "Home with Kids", mother Liu Mei prefers her older sister Xia Xue, who has good academic performance. The above conversation is caused by the parents' partiality. In the same situation, the mother did not punish the older sister, but only scolded the two younger brothers, which made the children feel very unbalanced.

Although most families now have only one child, this double standard exists not only among children, but also between parents and children. Parents should set a good example and should not just scold their children without considering their own behavior.

Liu Xing and Xiao Xue were both sleeping on the dining table. At this time, Liu Mei came over and pulled Liu Xing's arm. Liu Mei: Look at the watch. It's only what time and you're already asleep. Liu Xing: I didn't sleep well last night. Liu Mei: Did you play video games again? Liu Xing: No. Liu Mei: So you played online, right? ? Liu Xing: No. I was thinking about the exam. Liu Mei: About the exam? You failed the exam again? Liu Xing: I haven't taken the exam yet! Liu Mei: So you were thinking about how to cheat? Liu Xing: Why do you always think the worst of me? ! Liu Mei: You have to give me a chance to think the best of me!

It is not only about praising the child's achievements. Children are developing people, so it is impossible for them to do everything perfectly. In the process of their growth, what we should value is the effort they put into everything they do and their attitude towards things, rather than taking the results too seriously. Of course, success can strengthen the child's self-confidence and encourage him to keep up the good work, but when the results are not ideal, parents should provide timely psychological counseling to let the child realize that the process is more important than the result. In fact, the fun experienced in the process is far more meaningful than the result.

There are often scenes like this in TV dramas, where parents start nagging their children as soon as they enter the door, and even when their children close the door to study, they still chatter in front of the closed door. Liu Mei is such a somewhat neurotic parent.

Some parents are used to giving orders to their children constantly, or nagging them repeatedly, or arranging the details of their children's lives in detail, not giving their children the opportunity to make their own choices. Constant repetition and giving orders will not necessarily attract children's attention, and may even have the opposite effect.

When Xiaoyu wanted to take revenge on Liu Xing for making her wet her pants by drinking half a cup of milk, she poured milk into Liu Xing's shoes. When Liu Xing came back, her mother was afraid that he would beat Xiaoyu and prepared to intervene.

Many times, when children have problems, parents will step in and want to help them solve the problem. In fact, this is not a good thing for children. First of all, the parents' solution may not be correct, and it cannot cultivate children's ability to solve problems independently.

Xia Donghai has always played a very wise father in this TV series. In one episode, Liu Xing wanted to play games online with his father. His father proposed a trade condition. In order to achieve the goal, Liu Xing did a lot of coordination. In this process, his strong communication skills were demonstrated. Learn to wait and let the children solve the problem by themselves.

For a while, Liu Xing was addicted to horror movies, which had a great impact on his life. He was afraid to go to the toilet at night. His mother sneered at this and blamed him for what he deserved. However, his father pretended not to take Liu Xing's fear seriously and cleverly incorporated words of encouragement into the conversation. Finally, Liu Xing slowly got rid of the shadow of fear. This reflects the reasonable induction in psychological counseling, and the method of helping people to help themselves.

Another point of reasonable guidance is to constantly inspire children, let them discover the problems in their thinking or find ways to solve the problems, rather than directly telling them what to do. Studies have shown that the conclusions they draw themselves are more impressive than those told by others.

In my country, more than 90% of parents are educating their children in an incorrect way, which is a very serious problem facing the implementation of quality education in my country. There are the following misunderstandings in the process of educating children:

This is one of the most common misunderstandings we parents make.

What we usually do is to keep talking to children about principles, thinking that as long as the principles are explained clearly, children should naturally act according to the principles. If you say to a five-year-old child: "I want to be a scientist when I grow up, do you know?" The child says: "Yes!" But does the child really know? In fact, children cannot understand most of the principles we talk about. Children learn through behavior and experience principles through feelings. They do not act according to principles at all. Children's nature is to act according to the principle of pursuing happiness and avoiding pain, rather than acting through rational thinking. Usually, there is always such a confusion in the hearts of children: why is the same behavior sometimes praised and sometimes criticized? What is going on? Children cannot figure it out.

Zhou Guoping once said: "For our adult world, all understandings contain misunderstandings." What's more, our children do not understand the rules of adults, let alone what adults want to express in their hearts. Children cannot understand too many truths. Children experience through behavior and learn through feelings, rather than doing things according to reason.

I don't know how we adults came up with this truth. There is no causal relationship between material conditions and whether children study well. At the beginning of life, we talked about human nature. The fundamental reason that prompts a person to change is either to escape pain or to seek happiness. This is the fundamental reason. Especially for children, their rationality is not yet developed, and they do things completely subconsciously. Then, the first factor that prompts children to learn is interest, that is, learning itself can bring them pleasure; the second factor is that the results of learning make them happy; the third factor is gratitude to their parents. The fundamental motivation for children to learn is to trigger an emotion, which can find happiness physiologically, thereby triggering an interest and a desire for learning. In terms of neural connections, learning equals happiness!

This is a ridiculous practice. Children are human beings, not machines. We cannot mechanically set programs that only allow this and not that. This will stifle the creative nature of children.

As a person, his mission is to understand the world through interest, to explore the universe, life and life through feelings, "a child's natural duty is to play". If parents only require their children to study, they will cruelly deprive their children of this nature. Therefore, we parents must realize that children are human beings, and we must educate them in a human way.

I remember Aristotle said: "When a person is born, he is a very hateful little animal." It takes more than ten or twenty years of "humanization" to cultivate an adult. If in the process of "humanization" education, the most basic things of a person are not taught and the normal spiritual oxygen is not provided, and the child is always expected to be "humanized" through knowledge education and intellectual development, then it will be a big misunderstanding, and the process of humanization of the child will not be perfect. The tragedy of the pianist's life in the movie "Shining Style" - his father rudely only asked him to learn piano skills, which eventually led to him becoming a master in skills, but a disabled person in spirit. In our real life, such things exist in different forms and to different degrees. Especially for us Chinese, most parents have made similar mistakes, but to different degrees. For children, parents think that your most important task at this moment is to study, which is right. The key is what to learn? How to learn? If the child's interest and potential are developed, learning will be an easy and pleasant thing. On the contrary, if the child is forced and mechanically studied under high pressure by his parents, then learning is a disaster for the child, which is too painful.

This is a big misunderstanding in the process of educating children.

After being beaten and scolded, the child may seem to be coaxed and fine, but in fact, the feeling of being beaten and scolded will always remain in his subconscious mind, but he himself does not know it. He will always be nervous, anxious, self-pitying, and depressed until he grows up. This is actually a vicious "heart anchor" left in the child's subconscious mind when he was beaten and scolded by his parents in childhood, which constitutes his current subconscious personality. Once the same environmental factors are triggered, it will induce a physiological reaction when he was beaten and scolded at that time - fear and anxiety, which is called "heart anchor" in psychology.

Before the age of seven, it is difficult for a child to understand why he is being beaten or scolded. Only through age growth and life experience can he understand why the same behavior is treated differently. If parents beat and scold their children destructively, once the child's self-esteem is hurt, it will be difficult to adjust. It is the nature of a child to please his parents. Only when doing something can bring him happiness and gain confirmation, praise, and encouragement from his parents, will he actively do it; once what he has done is denied or criticized, his physiology will react, his nervous system will begin to stiffen, and he will show slow thinking and slow actions. He can neither do well nor learn.

People's thinking mode is associative operation, and any two things in the human brain may form a connection. The harm suffered in childhood will always remain in the child's subconscious, so parents must not take it lightly.

This view is the most profound national garbage that has affected us. It is a tragedy for the Chinese nation.

"My child doesn't listen to me!" This is a sentence often said by many parents. Then I want to tell you that your child listens to you for only two reasons: one is that what you say is right and good for him; the other is that you have agreed with each other that you must follow the rules.

Rousseau's book "Emile" talks about the sources of slavery and domination. Parents make their children obey unconditionally, "Because I am your father and your mother, you must listen to me." This will form the understanding of the two possibilities of slavery and domination in the children's minds. One is that I can't live without the other person, and the other person is a stronger individual than me, providing me with food and clothing - leading to domination; the other slavery is that the other person is a slave owner, it owns my body and even my spirit, so I am his property. In this way, two fundamental personality traits will be formed in children when they grow up: either dominate others and enslave others; or be dominated and enslaved by others. That is, they cannot have the concept of equality and independent personality.

If you want your children to listen to you, you must first cultivate their sense of equality and independent personality. Get along with your children as equals, guide them to think correctly, let them make independent choices, and never force them to listen to you. Because you cannot prove that what you say is right, just like your child wants to eat bananas, but you think that apples are rich in vitamins, so eating apples is right. This can only prove that it is your opinion, but not necessarily what the child needs.

This is a logic without causal connection. Doing things by yourself is to teach children self-reliance. If we parents also do things that children should do by themselves, it is equivalent to depriving children of their right to survive and explore the world. This not only cultivates children's dependence and being dominated, but on the contrary, the more parents do for their children, the more selfish their children will be.

Let children participate more in housework, let them do some housework within their ability, etc., to praise and encourage them, let them feel the warmth of the family atmosphere, so that they learn to be grateful. If there is no warmth in the family, no one will be grateful to their parents. When a person is not grateful, he will not understand the hard work of his parents. If children cannot be made aware of how important it is to make their parents happy and understand their parents, they will think that it is natural to be ungrateful. This is the tragedy of many children from wealthy families. The more wealth parents create and the more they give to their children, the more ungrateful their children will be. Therefore, this view is a fundamental misunderstanding in educating children.

Nowadays, many parents generally do not care about other things as long as their children study. They teach their children to be irresponsible and become bystanders in life. If children are not guided to care about and understand others from a young age, they will do their own thing when they grow up. Once these principles form unbreakable values ​​and beliefs in their hearts, failure in life will be inevitable.

Therefore, it is the foundation of life and the key to success to educate children on how to be a good person from an early age. Otherwise, if children are only taught knowledge without being guided in how to be a good person, the final result may be that they have neither learned the knowledge nor become a good person.

It is believed that children should be criticized when they do something wrong, otherwise they will develop bad habits. This is a matter of course for most parents with traditional concepts. I tell you that this is wrong. Because criticism requires art. It is not necessarily that criticism can make children correct their shortcomings. On the contrary, destructive criticism will only bury children's potential, eliminate their self-worth, and destroy their self-esteem.

We can completely correct children's shortcomings without using criticism. Children's growth is a process in which their strengths are confirmed and gradually magnified, and then replace their shortcomings. If a child's self-esteem, self-confidence, and sense of responsibility are determined and form a stable self-worth, he will eventually become a successful person. If parents' criticism is directed at the child's behavior rather than the child himself, then the child will correct his shortcomings. Otherwise, the child will feel that his self-worth is hurt and feel that he is inferior and incompetent. In this way, not only will he not correct his shortcomings, but they will become more and more serious, and finally form a strong rebellious psychology.

Therefore, criticism is a very high art, and if used improperly it can be very detrimental to a child's growth.

This is a traditional misunderstanding of the Chinese. Any spiritual person needs an oxygen supplier. As children, they need the company, confirmation, praise and encouragement of their parents. Once these are lacking, it is difficult for children to establish their self-worth.

It is a child's nature to please their parents. Parents' confirmation, encouragement and praise for their children's actual behavior is the key to building their children's self-esteem and self-confidence, which will inspire them to further develop.

Only when the child has not achieved the corresponding level, parents will use hypocritical and exaggerated language to praise the child insincerely. This will cause the child to be ignorant of the truth and become proud and complacent, or after a long time he will simply not believe in you.

Therefore, praising children’s behavior does not necessarily lead to pride. The key is how to praise!

Finally, I will share with you an explosive news:

Parents all over the world want their sons to be successful and their daughters to be outstanding. Educating children is a profound subject. Only by continuous learning can we become more proficient in educating children.

Nagging and scolding children during meals will not only put psychological pressure on them, but also be harmful to their health. Relevant experts believe that if children are not focused on "eating", they will not enjoy the food, which will affect digestion and absorption. In the long run, it will lead to stomach problems and anorexia. If children are scolded during meals and cry while eating, they are likely to swallow food into their trachea while sobbing, causing strong choking and even respiratory obstruction, which is life-threatening.

On the one hand, parents complain that their children are rebellious and ignorant, while on the other hand, children hate their parents' nagging that hurts their self-esteem. Mr. Gesang, a psychological expert at Sichuan University, said that if parents educate their children at an inappropriate time, the effect will be counterproductive and cause harm to the children.

◆Education at any time

Damage Index: ★★★

Teacher's comments: Some parents teach their children as soon as they see them. Although what they say makes sense, it may not be effective. Too much criticism before meals and before bedtime can cause children to suffer from physical and mental illnesses. Too much scolding before school will cool children's enthusiasm for learning.

If you don't pay attention to the right time when disciplining your children, they will only become bored.

◆Education anywhere, regardless of occasion

Damage Index: ★★★★

Teacher's comment: Some parents often use other children as examples in front of others, and complain about their own children. It seems to be strict parenting, but it is actually the biggest destruction of children's self-esteem.

◆The old almanac, the “truth” that never changes

Damage Index: ★★★

Teacher's comments: Some generation gaps are caused by backward parental concepts. If parents do not pay attention to learning, it will be difficult for them to update their knowledge and convince their children. If parents insist on being the boss, their image will be greatly reduced in the eyes of their children.

Therefore, we must pay attention to the occasion and choose the right time to educate children. The dinner table is not a good time to preach. Parents should try to create a relaxed and pleasant dining atmosphere so that children can eat happily and comfortably.