How much influence does a father have on his children? Is it important for a father to accompany his children?

Did you grow up with your father and mother by your side? Many children have been left behind, with only one parent or even both of them around. Although it is important to support the family, parents should not neglect their companionship. Perhaps your departure has affected your child's life.

Many mothers are helpless about the issue of fathers accompanying their children. Is this really the case? According to the survey data of the Changning District Women's Federation of Shanghai Scientific Parenting Base, on weekdays, fathers spend an average of 2.23 hours per day with their children; on weekends, they spend an average of 6.68 hours per day with their children. It is obvious that fathers spend nearly three times more time with their children on weekends than on weekdays. Seeing this, many fathers will complain, "I control the economic lifeline of the family. There is nothing I can do."

The survey also showed that the top three issues that respondents worried about after becoming fathers were: balance between family and work (55.4%), lack of parenting knowledge and skills (41.6%), incompetence as a father (31.4%), and excessive financial burden (20.2%).

It is an unavoidable reality that many fathers are busy with work, so improving the quality of participation within a limited time is the key. Therefore, correctly recognizing how important your companionship is to your child's growth and actively and efficiently participating in your child's companionship have become important issues for weekend fathers.

Fathers play an important role in their children's development

In the process of educating children, the father's education is indispensable. A poet once said: "One father is better than 100 teachers." This shows that fathers play an important role in the process of children's education.

Fathers often have a profound influence on the formation of their children's personality and qualities.

Fathers usually have personality traits and qualities such as independence, self-confidence, decisiveness, strength, courage to take risks, courage to overcome difficulties, positive and enterprising, and tolerance. If children are often with their fathers, they will learn their father's behavior in daily life. Children who are often with their fathers usually have more harmonious interpersonal relationships and have a positive and enterprising spirit.

Fathers also play an important role in the normal development of children's gender roles. It is said that the family is the child's first school and parents are the child's first teachers, so children initially imitate their parents at home. Fathers provide a basic model of men at home, and boys will regard their fathers as the most realistic "model" for developing their own masculine characteristics in the future. Girls will learn how men should treat women by observing how their fathers treat their mothers, which has a significant impact on the gender behavior of children when they grow up.

On the contrary, if children have little contact with their fathers, boys are likely to become weak, lack independence and autonomy, and be afraid of difficulties in learning or future work, dare not try to solve problems independently, and find it difficult to adapt to changes in the environment; girls often show anxiety and shyness. It can be seen that fathers play an important role in the growth of their children. Therefore, fathers should not push away their responsibilities as fathers because of the word "busy", but should take more time to accompany their children.

Impact on children's mental health

Dad is often the child's playmate. In the process of playing with dad, the child will gradually shift his one-sided attachment to the mother, induce the child's curiosity about the outside world, and the successful exploration experience will strengthen their determination and make them more courageous when facing unfamiliar environments and things. If a child lacks the company of his father since childhood, he is more likely to develop a timid character, which has a certain impact on the child's psychological growth.

Impact on children's perception of father's role

Before the age of three, the most important developmental task for children is to form an attachment relationship. If the father is absent from the child's feeding work for a long time before the age of three, it will be difficult for the child to establish a secure attachment relationship with the father, resulting in some children being more dependent on their mothers and not liking or even rejecting being alone with their fathers. In the long run, the child is likely to lack a sense of security and trust when he grows up.

Impact on children's academic achievement

Studies have shown that fathers have a positive impact on children's academic achievements, including academic performance, academic attitude, learning ability and learning emotions. Of course, the parent-child relationship does not directly affect children's academic achievements, but it has a positive impact on academic performance by influencing children's emotions and behaviors.

Children cannot grow up healthily without the love of their mothers. American researchers have found that father's love is as important as mother's love for children's emotional development, and sometimes even more important than mother's love. The researchers hope that this result will encourage fathers to participate more in the process of raising children.

Fatherly and motherly love are equally important

Professor Ronald Rona of the University of Connecticut led a research team to review 36 research reports involving more than 10,000 children's assessment of their parents' love. Questions included "Does the child feel needed and loved?", "Have parents hurt their feelings?", "How do you view fighting?", "Do you think the world is a place full of beauty and happiness?", etc., in order to understand the personality of the research subjects. In a paper published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology Review, the researchers wrote that those who were rejected and excluded in childhood appear to be more anxious, less secure, less friendly, and more aggressive, and many problems do not appear until adulthood. The British Daily Mail quoted the content of the paper on the 14th, reporting that the results showed that fatherly love is usually as important as motherly love, and in some cases, fatherly love is even more important than motherly love.

The impact of fatherly love is long-lasting

Researchers found that when people feel rejected, the brain activates the same areas as when they experience physical pain. Unlike physical pain, people may release this psychological pain years or even decades later, Rona said. He said that childhood rejection has the most "powerful and lasting" impact on personality and growth and development. "Children and adults, regardless of race, culture and gender, react exactly the same when they feel rejected." Rona said that children who feel they are not loved by their parents are prone to anxiety and insecurity, making them highly dependent; anger and resentment may cause them to choose to emotionally close themselves off to protect themselves from more harm. As a result, they may find it difficult to establish a relationship, are prone to low self-esteem, and have difficulty coping with stressful situations. The results show that the investment of fatherly love is particularly important for children's behavior and may affect whether children will become alcoholics, take drugs or have psychological problems when they grow up.

Family integrity is important

Rona said that in the United States, Britain and other European countries, "for the past 300 years, we have believed that children need to love their mothers for healthy growth," and that the role of fathers is to support mothers and provide financial support for the family, but they do not need to consider how to make their children grow up healthily. "This view is a fundamental mistake."

"We have to realise that the father's influence is quite large, sometimes even greater than the mother's," Rona said. Researchers believe this may be because when rejection or rejection comes from the one who is stronger or more respected by the child, it will cause more pain to the child. Rona hopes that the results of this study will encourage more fathers to devote themselves to the process of raising the next generation. Norman Wells of the British Family Education Foundation said that this study highlights the importance of a complete and stable family where both parents are committed to raising their children together.

Therefore, parents should spend more time with their children, give them full and complete love, and let their children grow up happily in a healthy environment~

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